Ariscestocrats! How was everybody's Pride month? Did you see me in the "What's The T?" section of the parade in San Fransisco? Oh, you didn't? The shade of it all!
Who's ready for the second part of Mr. Ryan's mysterious tryst with moi? I won't pound you with a long intro, I've built an appropriate amount of suspense thus far (you can catch up by reading Part I here)
. Now where were we? Oh yes, the "L" word....
Pride weekend was over and my New York life had gone back to normal, aside from the feelings that kept surfacing from the back of my mind about Ryan. Why was this the first guy I'd ever liked that made me feel I was "liked" back? Had I been cheating myself by tolerating being treated any other way before? I had so many questions, some for him, but most for myself. I longed for the content sense of self satisfaction I had embraced before running into him the previous week. I had been casually dating a list of eligible bachelors, going out three or four times a week on expensive dates and having fun, no strings attached, no cares at all. But everything had changed now, I felt like an anxious teenaged girl waiting for her crush to call. Or write. Or post pictures, anything to show they were alive and interested. I didn't care what the other boys were doing anymore, where they were, I stopped returning their calls and texts. All because they could never make me feel the way Ryan had achieved so effortlessly. I felt wanted, needed, craved.