[RALPH FOX] LIVING THE DREAM

So Grateful

I’m sitting in my new apartment, new year, new partner, new chest and it’s all a bit surreal. It wasn’t the best time to move, but transitioning means your whole world shifts too. My nipples are in that gross stage, half pink flesh and half black scabs, with dissolvable stitches rearing their ugly heads like spiders legs, until they fall out. I still feel delicate, like I am fused together with glue and spit and any number of activities (rolling on my side, carrying something heavy, falling over) could result in bursting my stitches or stretching my scars into an ugly red mess.  I have to stop myself from touching my scars but I do love lifting up my shirt when I pass a mirror and ‘wow’ at the (for now) clean and precisely stitched skin, slathered in Scar-Guard. Luckily, I had the best surgeon in the world operate on me.

Top surgery was an obvious step. I’ve never rated my tits, but past girlfriends have enjoyed them and I’m told I had a sexy chest. I appreciate the female form, just not on me. While I wasn’t cursed with a massive chest, I knew that without surgery, I would always have to wear a binder because no amount of testosterone and working out would ever give me a  male torso. And as we all know, wearing a binder is disgustingly sweaty and restricting and can only be endured for a certain number of unbearable summers. I decided to borrow the money and pay it back, every month, with interest. And then I raised half of the money from donations from hundreds of people. So grateful.I scoured Photobucket.com and YouTube videos for surgeons with positive & consistent results and improved technique. I was disappointed with the UK surgeons.  Incidentally, if you’ve had your surgery in the UK, private or NHS, and are loving your results, please get in touch, as I’d love to hear your stories.

In the UK, once you rule the NHS out (it’s usually because you didn’t get the funding or don’t rate the consistency in quality of work) there are three options.

I felt that I had three options for Private top surgery route.

Option 1: Thailand. A cheaper surgery option with a holiday thrown in. This may well work out for you, but the language barrier with paperwork and cultural differences was enough to deter me.  Max had a Double Incision/Bilateral Mastectomy with free nipple grafts, and is very pleased with his results.

Option 2: UK. Lewis went to the Nuffield Hospital in my liberal hometown Brighton. This private hospital chain has one of the UK’s best surgeons, Andrew Yelland, who performed a super job on Lewis’ already buff body.

Option 3: USA. My choice. No major language barriers and I’ve been seeking the best surgeon for the past five years. Firstly Dr Brownstein (SF) then I discovered Dr Medalie (Ohio) and Dr Garramone (Sunrise) who I chose for his aesthetically pleasing results and close proximity to my awesome Auntie in Florida.

Despite having a small chest, I was worried that my nipple placement would be too low for a peri-aerolar. I no longer cared about erotic sensation. For the price and location, Dr Garramone made sense. I had a brief telephone conversation with the receptionist and emailed some topless shots over, various angles, and then phoned again to chat to the man himself. I paid the 10% to secure a date and then made a list of all the things I had to do.Within one month of surgery, had to provide a psych letter, a full medical, full blood-works. Before that I had the joy of getting a passport, with ‘M’ on. Luckily the system in the UK is now more setup to protect and cater for trans issues, and I’m also ‘M’ on my NHS profile too, so it was strange to see I had been listed as ‘F’ on my medical tag while getting my top surgery in Florida.

Florida Relaxation

Florida was humid and t-shirt weather in January. I was surprised to find out the surgery was only an hour and half; you’re released from the hospital, on the same day, shortly after you wake up from the general anesthetic.  I’m told Dr Garramone does five or six (mostly top) surgeries a day, at least two days a week. He really does has a comforting bedside manner and is clearly an expert in his chosen field.

I also had to sign a form stating I understood I would be charged an extra $200 for every 30 minutes which Dr G went over the allotted 1.5 hours we were scheduled for. I wasn’t anticipating this, but I guess once you’ve spent £6000 ($8000 including surgery, flights and accommodation) then a few hundred bucks doesn’t seem so much. Luckily, this wasn’t needed and everything ‘couldn’t have gone better’ according to Dr G.

Post-surgery, I had a panic attack as soon as I ‘woke up’ from surgery, which was really scary. This soon passed, but then I found my bladder had gone to sleep and I could barely squeeze a drop out in the first 24ish hours which meant a lot of water retention and the fear of having to return to the hospital for a catheter. My poor organs ;(

Post surgery: You will need 24/7 care from loved ones / paid staff who may even be requred to wipe your derriere for you (luckily I only required this once and we’ve both recovered well from the incident). For the nausea: crystalised ginger, ginger ale, soda-bread. Straws are a necessity for the first 5 days, as it’s impossible to hold a glass or angle your head. Try having a pro-biotic yoghurt everyday, as the dairy will help line your stomache (helps with the other medication). If I’d done that I would have got rid of the ridiculous bloating I experienced until my bandages and drains were removed. The worst part was the tightness of the bandages which crushed my liver and kidneys and giving me continuous back-pain.

Despite no reservations with my surgeon, I did have travel issues. British Airways was incredibly wary of letting me flying even though it was 8 days after surgery (two days after my bandages, drains and stitches had been removed) and Dr Garamone’s office had saw no problems with my travel dates, which I double-checked with them. We notified the BA ground staff that we needed extra help with our bags and that I just had top surgery; the flight we were boarding failed to give us the care we needed. One steward began demanding a letter approving us to fly. I asked Garramone’s office for a letter stating I was good for travel, but was told by the receptionist that providing a letter to airport staff in the past had only caused ‘confusion and made matters worse’. So we didn’t have any supporting letter, but I only had dissolvable stiches and was on no medication, as I had already completed all my prescription pain killers and anti-biotics. The steward scared us, saying that my stitches could quite possibly burst (from the cabin pressure) and I could bleed to death, which I felt was highly unlikely. He seemed like a real jobs-worth and I felt annoyed having to ‘come out’ to him, other staff and many of my passengers, on a full flight.

Looking Up

Within 24 hours of returning to the UK, I had developed a full body rash as a reaction to the anti-biotic cream, which I was pretty much mainlining through my nipples. I had to get prescription anti-histamines to take down the redness, swelling and itchiness. I was miserable.

The past few days, things have been looking up. My rash had gone completely and my chest is starting to connect itself together. I know I will be grateful every day for having had the surgery that I wish I’d had over 10 years ago. I’m so excited for the new generation of trans-kids who are taking hormone blockers and never needed go through ‘the wrong’ puberty.

Every day for the the rest of my incredible life I will celebrate having taken this massive step towards being comfortable in my own skin. And no more regrets.

Tagged as: Dr. Garramone, top surgery