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Trans brothers, dear dear dear men, whom I respect and look up to and adore, allow me to quote noted gender theorist Inigo Montoya:
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I’m writing this because there’s been tons of talk about this slur recently. Trans men, some of them high profile, using tr*nny, trans women calling them on it, trans men demanding that they have a right to say it, et cetera. So before I start the serious stuff, I want to say that I’m not who you should listen to. This is really a trans women’s issue. You should listen to trans women. But they are already talking, and from your reactions, it’s clear we need to talk about this. From one trans guy to a bunch of others.
I’m not mad, guys. Well, ok, I’m a little mad. But mostly I just want to help fix this. We’ve made some bad mistakes. I used to use this word too, and I own that. I fucked up. We fucked up. Now let’s work to make this better.
Tr*nny is a slur. I think we’ve all agreed on that. Diverse sources, from Julia Serano to Kelly Osbourne, all agree. But for whom is it a slur? We know what image is summoned when we hear n*gger–a Black body. When we hear fag–a queer male body. When we hear d*ke–a queer female body. These words evoke certain identities. There are clear images associated with them. Fags are effeminate. D*kes are too masculine to be proper women. What clear image is evoked by tr*nny?
You know as well as I do: it’s the image of a trans woman. A “male” body, or rather, a body doctors would assign as male, in women’s clothing. A person attempting–and always failing, in these images–to be female. That’s what the image has historically been, and with only a few tiny changes, that’s what the image is now.
Whenever I have this debate, I suggest people google “tr*nny.” I stand by that suggestion. Click over the image tab and you’ll see trans women and drag queens galore, a few car parts, and fabulously enough, a picture of Kate Bornstein with a photoshopped mermaid’s tail, but almost never a trans man. When you do see trans men online associated with the slur, they’re almost always calling themselves tr*nnies. They’re not having the word pinned on them by cis people. This distinction is excruciatingly important.
The fact that cis people don’t call trans men tr*nnies very often illuminates two important things about trans male experience: the degree to which are and have been invisible, and what a weird place we stand in as female-assigned men in a patriarchal world.
The invisibility is a big part of what’s scary about being a trans man. We’re so unspeakable that there isn’t even a common word used to degrade exclusively us. When we look into history for gender variant people, we see trans women, and we see this word used against them. We see few trans men, and just like those historical trans men are mostly invisible, so are the structures of oppression used to keep them down.
Reclaiming tr*nny feels like a way to have a history. But that word was never our history. It feels like a way to name and confront those invisible oppressive structures. But it doesn’t do that work, because while the structures that oppress trans women have many elements in common with the ones that oppress us, they’re not the exact same ones.
That’s because, like I said, trans men are in such a weird position in relation to patriarchy. To the patriarchal eye, we seem to following the sexist imperative that being a man is better than being a woman, which of course the patriarchy is all for. But we’re doing it by violating another central patriarchal imperative: that people with vaginas are women.
So we move through this sexist world in a peculiar manner–able to wield our male privilege when we’re allowed to function as men, but subject to a particularly painful brand of transphobic and homophobic sexism when we’re understood as women.
Sure, sometimes trans guys get called tr*nny. But let’s please be real: It’s not that often, and it’s a recent phenomenon. Maybe we’ll get to the point where it’s a common enough slur against trans men that we can start to have the reclamation conversation. But man, I hope we don’t. It’s depressing and comical, us wanting our very own slur.
Sure, you might have a trans woman friend who doesn’t mind you calling yourself a tr*nny. This is because women, like men, don’t always agree with one another!
Sure, you may be very attached to the word “tr*nny” as a part of your identity. You can identify as anything you want! But if it is absolutely imperative for you to use that word, and you using that word makes trans women feel unsafe around you, I’m not sure what to tell you. Maybe you should do some work within yourself, trying to discover why you have such an intense need to own a word that makes people feel unsafe. All of which is to say that, ultimately, your identity is your identity, but you don’t need to share all of it with everyone if it makes them feel unsafe.
Raise your hand if you’re a young white trans guy who went/goes to a liberal arts college and is reading this on his Macbook. (My hand is raised.) Please know that most people who get tr*nny used against them on a daily basis are poor trans women of color. Please try to remember that working to include poor trans women of color in our movement is like, one of the most important things we need to do right now.
Which is more important, working to make trans women feel comfortable and safe in our community, or using a word that makes us feel all tingly and transgressive?
Resist transmisogyny. You do not need someone else’s slur to connect with your own history. Stop using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
{ 179 comments… read them below or add one }
YES. I love this. Great post, Stephen. The bottom line is respect.
Thank you for this article! I was looking forward to reading it because I’ve seen such a surge in the use of the t-word lately & felt uncomfortable about it — but have a hard time explaining to people why I don’t think it’s use is appropriate. To me, it’s enough to mention that it’s a slur; but, that argument is often confronted with arguments of identity and reclamation. I cannot argue with someone about their own identity & I cannot deny someone if they feel empowered by using this word in a way that isn’t derogatory. However, I think that use of any words with such a negative history needs to be critically considered before they’re tossed around — and I don’t necessarily think this happens quite enough.
I also think we should consider that when we use this word, that indicates to others that it is okay (and, even a good thing) to use it. We also demonstrate ‘appropriate’ use to non-trans folks, arguably by nature of us being trans. As someone who used to use this term, I guess out of a baseless idea that I was being progressive, I’ve seen my usage mirrored back at me by people who know me and respect what I say.
I really appreciate your insight about the t-word and it’s history in the trans female community. I’ve had this voice in the back of my head saying that this word isn’t something for me to make light of or reclaim – and, I really believe it isnt,. That doesn’t mean this word is off-limit to us — I just think more thought needs to be given to it’s use & I think input from the trans female community is required before we culture the use of this word as a source of empowerment, identification & unification for the trans community.
Excellent points!
This is really great. For people who still don’t get the point, I really like breaking down what “subverting” or “reclaiming” is going on, definition-wise [I didn't come up with this, but I can't remember where I read it].
What is tr*nny coded to mean? “Not really female,” “actually a dude,” etc. What subversion is there in coding trans male bodies as “tr*nny”? It becomes an “edgy”, hurtful way of saying “I’m really a man, man.”
“Reclaiming tr*nny feels like a way to have a history. But that word was never our history.”
With all due respect, you have no idea what you’re talking about! I’ve been a transman for a long time (over 18 years) and my community of transwomen and transmen used this word as a way to solidify bonds between ourselves. Really, you cannot tell US what OUR history is like! It looks a lot different than what it is NOW! I wish some the younger transmen really understood that. MY HISTORY IS NOT YOUR HISTORY.
I totally respect your experience of our history. However, please recognize that other trans people–of your generation!–feel differently about their experiences than you do. You need to respect their experience of our history. You may have had very positive and affirming experiences with this slur, and the trans women around you may have had them too, and been very comfortable with you using it, but not all trans women feel the same way about this! And a lot of them would like you not to use it.
You’re right, I’m very young and I am not coming to writing about this having lived the history I discuss. However, I have spent a lot of time with folks of your generation who have a different perspective on their experiences than you do.
Like I said in the beginning of this article, I feel that I should speak about this, but you should know that I’m not really the person to listen to. The people to listen to are the trans women–many of them of your generation–who are asking that this word not be used.
Stephen Ira always gets to choose what words are wrong and what words are acceptable – with zero regard for any one else’s feelings. It’s okay to call someone a faggot, which many people find demeaning and derogatory. But heaven forbid you say the word “tranny” to him – it’s blasphemous. Actually, BOTH words are horrible, but Ira will jump down your throat with his particular brand of nasty venom and unleash a violent anger that would rival a demented slasher. Good for the goose, not the gander. Shame on him for never, EVER respecting other people’s perspectives and histories of hurt and degradation. Unless it mirrors his.
“…I’ve been a transman for a long time (over 18 years) and my community of transwomen and transmen used this word as a way to solidify bonds between ourselves…”
Hey Jones, I came out when I was 14 (1993) and I started transition at 18(1997). I’m 33 now, as that was about 14 years ago. I’m not entirely sure if an additional 4 years would really have mattered in terms of your history of usage VS my life experiences, and I would suppose it would depend on where you lived, but let’s be real here: the word tr*nny meant the EXACT SAME THING back then as it does now, at least in relation to trans-women. Time changes some things, but others not so much. It was a pretty gross word when I was a kiddo, and a pretty gross word today as an adult.
it’s cool if you feel so strongly that tr*nny is part of your history, but it stops being cool when your history becomes grounded in contributing to other people’s oppression. If you feel your friends are fine with you casually slinging that word around then great for them. But If you’re making someone really uncomfortable by your usage causing them to feel unsafe by using it? Then please, take a step back, and think about what you’re doing for a second.
We all have to live in the same world, and it’s a world where words and actions have REAL consequences. It may be worth mentioning that even if you have friends who say they’re fine with it when confronted, it may also be possible that they feel unsafe or threatened and are unwilling to speak up to you because it makes them feel uncomfortable. I know I’ve definitely experienced that before.
If you really are intent on propagating sexist & trans-misogynistic behavior, then congratulations I guess, because that makes you a part of the larger problem. Or you can step up, own up, and become part of the solution.
It’s your call either way. just think about it before getting all beligerant and trying to justify oppressive behavior with “well hey i’m really old” cause that doesn’t really fly for some of us ladies
As a trans woman, If I asked you to not use that word around me, would you? Would you respect that it makes me feel like a sex worker? That it doesn’t bring me closer to anyone. Respect my feelings.
What’s wrong with being a sex worker? Honest question here…
Thanks for calling attention to the anti-sex worker rhetoric that gets thrown around in a lot of trans spaces. I find it so frustrating when trans folks hate on sex workers (or other stigmatized groups) as a way to do boundary work. (I’m this, which is NOT that).
THANK YOU. The answer is nothing. Y’all chicks are free to beg an employer to hire you at burger king despite being trans* if you want. You’re free to even beg someone to acknowledge your various college degrees (as I have done) and overlook any prejudice that they can legally hold against you based on your merits.
I love escorting, I would never degrade myself by working for anything under 100K or by working for someone else.
So those of us without the PRIVILEGE of having the option to be a sex worker, and working for less then a 100K are “degrading” ourselves, trying to get a job, any job. We should just all resort to making our bodies accessible to anyone and everyone, just because you feel comfortable doing so? What a condescending prospective you have.
Aren’t you the lucky privileged woman? It would take me over 10 years to make a 100K, because A) I am disabled and B) there’s no market for trans men sex workers, unless you’re young and lucky enough to be the uber masculine types that so many fawn over and aspire to be like Buck Angel. Yeah, talk about perpetuating an uber muscular male stereotype. Lucky for him, but I don’t see him or any other 100K/year plus sex workers doing sweet fuck all to help those of us who can’t make the money to pay for their hormones or have a simple top surgery that costs $7,000 or $8,000. No, they’re too busy saving and / or “rescuing” dogs and buying properties in Mexico, than setting up foundations for people who are too “degraded” to get a job in the sex trade and make less than 100K in more than 10 years. Oh, but thanks for rubbing it in our faces ; so appreciated, and proves the point that once you get your surgeries and your big paying jobs, you do absolutely nothing to help people less fortunate than you. Hard for me to consider any of you my sisters or brothers. Self serving conceited people who can help no one but themselves…..very easy to consider. When I hadn’t eaten for over 4 days, because I had no money for food, the only person that helped me, was another (older) transman, with barely enough food to feed himself. And the reason, he did that for me, aside from him having a human heart of gold , is that he knew I would do, and have done the very same thing for him. In fact before the cops ruined my ability to play my instruments by breaking my bones, I held a fundraiser for him, when he finally found housing so that we could buy him some furniture and some basic pots/pans, as well as the basics, like a bed. The conceit and arrogance of some of you make it very easy for me to commit suicide, and I would be leaving my instruments and the money that can be auctioned for them; I’ll be leaving it to my aboriginal transbrothers over 35, because all the agencies out there are geared to young trans people under 29, because anyone over 35 in the queer and/or trans “communities” is disposable. ( communities in quotes, because it’s a fallacy of all fallacies amongst queer and/or trans people)
And I think I’ve just marched my last march for the rights of trans sex workers. Too many things to plan out before suicide.
“Would you respect that it makes me feel like a sex worker?”
The word “tr*nny” is generally used as a slur against trans women in an attempt to insult them and undermine their womanhood. Although I realize that many trans women are indeed sex workers, I’m not sure how the use of the word in generic terms relates to sex work.
In any case, it’s not an insult to be called a sex worker because that is a legitimate and respectable occupation.
Hell yeah it is! Thanks Savannah. <3
I believe it comes from the fact that before the word became popular among “comedians”, it was most popularly used in porn.
And while being a sex worker is legitimate and deserves respect, it’s false to say it’s “respectable” when society as a whole treats sex workers with massive stigma. It’s also legitimately insulting to treat trans women as uniquely or naturally suited to sex work, because it both reinforces the stigma of sex work and abuses a second target with it. It also comes from the standard tactic of oversexualizing trans women and treating transition as a sexual fetish.
“MY HISTORY IS NOT YOUR HISTORY.”
Um, I beg to differ. I first heard the word tr*nny back in the early ’80′s and guess what? It was a slur against trans women.
“It’s depressing and comical, us wanting our very own slur…”
TRUTH.
+1
One more thing, Stephen. Your website is called Super Mattachine. Did you know that many of the top leaders in the Mattachine society hated women? You can look at the Mattachine archives at the New York Public Library. I also know this because I had one or two friends who were a part of the Daughters of Bilitis. Some of them are still alive today, and have told me that Mattachine really disliked being “told what to do by women” so they kept them out. If you are going to pick and choose what pieces of history you are in alignment with I suggest you take a better look at what they stand for.
Yeah, the Mattachines had a profoundly problematic attitude towards women. Also people of color and tons of other people, including trans folks. Part of what I’m doing by titling my blog Super Mattachine is attempting to grapple and reconcile with this painful past in queer activism. I promise you, I’m not embracing the Mattachines uncritically.
So Stephen, what I’m seeing is that you are picking and choosing which parts of history you wish to align yourself with, even if they have problematic histories and recollections of their own attached to them. I find it disconcerting that you speak [accurately] on the history of tranny as an oppressive and marginalizing slur while at the same time visibly aligning yourself with a society that actively practiced hate and oppression.
You are free to define yourself, however please let the rest of us have the same freedom.
well said
Thank you for writing this, Stephen.
This is one of those, you’ll get a lot of backlash but it needs needs needs to be done sort of things.
This is probably the best thing I’ve read on this. I’ve been reluctant to listen to these arguments since I respond poorly to people giving me orders as to what I could & could not call myself, & that’s how it’s often been presented to me. Seriously, kiss my ass, I’ll call myself Queen Christina if I want to.
Also appreciate your noting the ongoing ways that sexism continues to damage transmen. We’ve been invisible, & more to the point here, sexless, which may be part of the appeal of “tranny” for us.
My complaint about words people use: “transmisogyny.” Sexism is huge, pervasive & insidious. It fouls everyone associated with “female.” its bile is not reserved for trans women; there’s already a word for prejudice against transfolk, & that’s “trans phobia.”
One last thing: why was “fag” the only slur you didn’t asterisk? #curious
“Transmisogyny” is a really important word actually! It specifically means hatred against trans women that is predicated on their transness and their femaleness. It’s distinct from both misogyny and transphobia, although obviously it carries many elements of both, but you know, it’s like a combination. Kind of like lube and semen and shit combining to make a presidential candidate.
Good question w/r/t not asterisking “fag”! Basically it’s a word I am very comfortable using and reclaiming as a gay man, unlike the other slurs I mentioned.
“Basically it’s a word I am very comfortable using and reclaiming as a gay man, unlike the other slurs I mentioned”
I’ve heard “tranny” casually used within the trans community a hell of a lot more often than “fag” within the male-identified homosexual community. Dude, you need to practice the respect that you preach. IMO, you’ve completely invalidated this argument.
Your mileage may vary. I’m a gay man and in my part of the world we use it for ourselves and others (in a reclaimed rather than slur way) constantly. Besides, there’s a huge difference between Stephen, a gay man, reclaiming a slur aimed at gay men, and a trans man attempting to reclaim a slur aimed at trans *women.*
Ahahaha and also thank you very much for your compliments! Sorry, I seem to have forgotten my manners a little this morning.
YES!
Thanks for this post. I doubt this will put the issue to rest (clearly, as seen above in comments) but it has to be said as much as possible… every time the topic comes up I believe minds can be changed on this.
Love this post…. it’s so important for trans men to read.
But my question is, why is Tilda Swinton’s picture in the google image search for “tranny”? Was it just that she was in Orlando?
But do you know that many gay men hate the word fag? If you reclaim it and use it in public how will you know that you haven’t hurt the feelings of other gay men? Fag, as you know, is a dirty word used by people to call out sissy boys. I happen to be a cis-gendered sissy myself. And I hate the word fag! If you used it around me I would be really upset. So, reclaim all you want but hate speak is hate speak. And fag is hate speak!
Uh, if he is gay he has the right to reclaim it without it being hate speak, as he’s aimed by it. Saying otherwise because he’s not cis is dismissing his gender identity.
I’m a transwoman who encourages the use of tranny by all trans identified folks. No genital check or hormone count required. In fact I’d love the help of assuring that it is no longer a derogatory word-something that posts like this perpetuate.
Respectfully fuck yourself. I hate the word and I’m a trans woman just as much as you. Respect that I find it highly offensive just like man other trans people; men, women, and everything in between. I don’t care if you want to pretend it isn’t derogatory, it is and you cannot and will not change that. Learn some fucking respect.
I’m going to continue to work to make sure that it loses its derogatory connotations. And I totally enjoy the suggestion of respectfully fucking myself. I think I just might!
totally agree with you W
“I’m going to continue to work to make sure that it loses its derogatory connotations.”
Then that work is going to fail, except for yourself. You’re free to decide that it doesn’t offend you, but no one chose you to speak for everyone and say “hey, this is ok, I’m making it ok.” No, you are not and you have no right to act like you represent the views of a majority, nor to play the “I’m one of the good ones” card and try to normalize privileged behavior to score points.
most of the trans women i know use it about themselves and each other. i think the important thing is not to use the word around someone who is hurt by it. if a friend asks you not to use it then respect that, otherwise if someone wants to refer to themselves as a tranny then let them. the more the word gets used the less power it has to hurt
“the more the word gets used the less power it has to hurt.”
Um ya, that’s worked really well for the N word.
Stephen,
thanks for the article. It (like so much of the stuff you write) helps me understand my adopted baby bro Vic so much better, as well as helps me make myself a more aware and inclusive person as I move through the rapids and pitfalls of society.
Hi all.
I’m really interested to read this article because i was involved in a similar discussion around the Tranny Olympics, which is a party night organised once a year in London started by a local queer community. It is an inclusive event for which ‘trannys’ get in free. It is inclusive of all gender variant people and cis people too (although cis people have to pay a cover charge). Having said that, it is run by and, I would say, about two thirds of the crowd are male to female cross-dressers/drag queens/transexuals/transvestites and other categories of male to female gender transgression.
There was a similar discussion to the one Stephen outlines, similar problems with the idea of reclaiming, if it was worth reclaiming and who was reclaiming for what purpose. I like this article because it puts a slightly more eloquent and nuanced spin on some of the perspectives that were shared on the Facebook group where this discussion happened for me (which got very polarised at times).
I wanted to comment that although I like the fact that this is being raised I am a bit disappointed at the conclusion drawn and also at the way the position that conclusion is coming from is being legitimised.
Firstly, I think it’s useful in these situations to acknowledge that many people who identify as trans do so on drastically different terms. I also think that violence towards people who identify as trans can happen across the board. I, myself live mostly day to day as a man but also cross-dress and occasionally identify as a woman – I am also an avid fan of Original Plumbing form across the pond btw
I wanted to put a link to an interview with Terre Thaemlitz who I really admire as I most strongly agree with how she is identifying here from an article on her comatonse website ‘Terre interviews Terre’:
“You might call me non-essentialist, non-op MTFTMTF” http://www.comatonse.com/writings/2011_terre_interviews_terre.html
I think for this very reason the only conclusion we can draw here is that this word ‘tranny’ is problematic and needs to be discussed within a community when some of those community members are unhappy with the word ‘tranny’. It is clearly a word which needs to be negotiated and definitely a source of miscommunication.
What I am unhappy about in this article is the idea that you have made a decision that it is wrong to use the word, justified a certain position on it and then advocated that others also shouldn’t use it. I do appreciate the effort made to describe your position of privilege but I think there is a problematic relationship to saying “I am aware of my privilege” yet “you should all do what I think is justified”. I am also uncomfortable with your universalisation of your readers:
“Raise your hand if you’re a young white trans guy who went/goes to a liberal arts college and is reading this on his Macbook. (My hand is raised.)”
The forum in which I last had this discussion was set up in East London by community activists (myself included) as a forum for an anti-racist queer (in its very broadest sense) community event. The forum is mixed on race, gender and class terms. I think that the way in which you ‘call out’ your audience, in some respects reinforces the exclusivity of your position, but that isn’t really my main point here. I might be too pedantic but I think it is a little revealing, and also upsetting, that you then go on to say:
“Please try to remember that working to include poor trans women of color in OUR movement is like, one of the most important things we need to do right now.” [the emphasis is mine]
I think that it is in this statement when the very thorough interpretation of your own privilege is revealed to be a rhetorical turn. I’m sure in New York (as in London and everywhere else) there are local groups and individuals who are under-privileged and working against cisgenedered/patricarchal/class oppressions – it is reductive to create an ‘us’ (the privileged) and ‘them’ (the underprivileged) and then go on to say that ‘they’ should be encouraged and helped to join ‘us’.
Perhaps ‘we’ or ‘you (I’m not sure I am going with your assumption of who I am)’ should join ‘them’?
Perhaps the ‘us’ you are referring to is not valid without ‘them’ – in which case I would re-negotiate what you consider to be the aims of your (presumably privileged) movement. For example, it is great that within your self-defined privileged trans-man movement there should be a discussion about how your privilege is enacted and how under-privileged voices should be ‘invited in’ but this would perhaps only serve you, your privileged position and the privileged community around you to justify it’s aims at challenging privilege. It is more often than not that the privileged person benefits from challenging their own position of privilege – something other people of privilege will celebrate them for.
Considering this, I then think it becomes much more complicated to then conclude:
“Stop using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means”
When I was saying that your description of your own privilege becomes rhetorical – this is exactly what I mean. It is the person of privilege that has the right of interpretation, the right to universalise meaning. The person of privilege speaks on behalf of others and decides what things mean. I feel that your ending statement, although innocent, suggests that you have a better idea of what it means than others (I’m guessing your peer group) that use that word. You reinforce your privilege (although you are also aware of it).
The irony here is that I think that your conclusion is actually the beginning of the discussion that needs to be had – not the conclusion. You have finished your argument by simply outlining the terms if the argument itself. Indeed, it was the first person who said “Stop using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means” who created the discussion, right? And that clearly wasn’t you or your peer-group who have been (I would suggest legitimately) using the word tranny.
I think that we need to have these discussions and I think it’s important to challenge privilege and also identify your own position of privilege. But I also think that you need to think how you could be an ally to people of less privilege than you within their struggles rather than worrying about including people into yours.
What I think you actually raise isn’t your moral superiority and ultra-inclusivity but rather the question: How does privilege get enacted within discussions about privilege? How can these discussions be used to actually challenge privilege without reinforcing it?
There will always be discussions because many different, fluid gender identified communities across mixed social class and race (all with an equally legitimate claim to their self-identification as trans/tranny/wotever) will all interpret the word ‘tranny’ in the way they feel comfortable. Rather than deciding on whats right universally (or, more specifically, what is least offensive for everyone) perhaps next time ask yourself “What would the non-essentialist, non-op MTFTMTF community think etc. etc.?” – (I hope my humour translates here :-p).
Best,
Polly
x
Ok, so, this comment is a fucking gift and I thank you so much for it.
Like, I wish I could upvote it or something so that everyone would read it along with my post.
You’re absolutely right about the weird rhetorical position I ended up taking here. What I should have done, really, to avoid that, is explain who I’m talking to within my own community. Like, I was definitely writing this with a certain demographic in mind, a certain kind of trans guy who reads OP. I do think that transmasculine, class-privileged, white trans guys are a significant part of OP’s readership, but I should find a way to address that audience without leading with the assumption that they are the only part of OP’s audience. Like you said, it creates this dynamic of like, people who are human enough to be involved in discourse, and then the unthinking Other.
Anyway, thank you again.
Hiya Stephen,
Well that’s sweet – thanks so much for writing the article and publishing it and I do understand you! I really thought that you provided a lot to think about and it is definitely a work in progress!
Much love,
P
I was thinking the same thing as this comment. I am still processing this at the moment, but I also wanted to call into question your (Stephen’s) use here:
“When we hear fag–a queer male body. When we hear d*ke–a queer female body.”
Because when I hear this, I see WHITE bodies. I am sure most people do, actually. Just another spot to be aware of.
yes, this too! so much.
I love this response more than the article.
But then, I am a middle class white trans man.
I am one who would like to see all negatively connotated words reappropriated, however I’m not about to use any of those words that have never applied to “people like me”. Whilst I will support those who are getting abused by these words, I will humbly leave it to them to either attempt to remove the words from the future, or create positive reinforcement around, the words. Whilst I have been abused (physically and verbally) for being a “freak”, “tranny”, “faggot”, “dyke”, “geek”, “fatty”, “bitch”, “slut” and loads more, as being generally perceived as male, I know I own a class of privilege and will respectful decline using the word “tranny”.
i love this comment so much. i think it’s really important and… yeah. heh. thanks for writing this.
i was wondering, would it be okay for me to repost this article and your comment on it (and possibly other commentary) to my tumblr?
so glad to have you writing for op stephen! it’s about time someone publicly tackle this issue without having a cis or heteronormative slant on it.
IRA!!! FUCK YES.
This is a thoughtfully written piece that will, hopefully change some minds. I’ve gotten into some heated debates with people, gay cis-males and transguys mostly, and my final word is always that you can not “reclaim” a word that was never yours to begin with.
That’s not reclamation, that’s appropriation–BIG DIFF. This system of oppression/privilege sometimes gets people who sit on the sunny side of a few victories thinking we’re all on the same team, fighting the same battles with the same tactics and thus own the same histories, slurs, etc.
We are not the same, and we don’t need to be. We are all here to give one another strength and respect and respite as we continue to dismantle this system that marginalizes and separates all of us in layered and varied ways. The blindness privilege affords is insidious at times in that it allows one to assume and replace their own experience for that of another person. Just because YOU aren’t offended, doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive. It shows the utmost lack of respect when one hears that a word hurts another person then chooses to continue using it, in the name of defeating its power or reclaiming it. Whether that word is the R-word, N-word, L-word, T-word, you can’t take back power from a word that has never exerted its power over you.
We must learn to recognize privilege when it threatens to drive a violent wedge in the hard work we all have ahead in defeating this racist, classist patriarchy. This word being “reclaimed” by young, college-educated white men who have the pleasure to sit around having debates about identity politics while it is hurled most often toward poor transwomen/gender variant people of color (who also experience MUCH higher incidences of hate crimes, rape, murder, job/housing discrimination, incarceration and resulting mental health issues), is just plain ludicrous. Transmasculine people, call yourself a Dyke or Fag if you want, those words are much more likely to be yours to reclaim, used against you or are newly yours to use freely as you attempt to change the charge those words still hold- but leave Tr*nny ALONE. Jeez. Misogyny sucks, but TRANSmisogyny is the fucking poison in the well. Stop. It. All.
Thank you for writing this, Ira.
Fuck Chaz.
Thank you! The first thing that come’s to mind when I hear that word is pornography which to my knowledge has been starred by mtf’s. Some do things that put mtf’s in a poor public light due to the challenge of earning an income. I read a couple of responses that stated this story is nonsense. Do not ever assume it’s okay because it’s used in social circled when people say and do things just to fit in seeking comfort of friendships.
What’s wrong with starring in porn if your an mtf and why should that put you into a poor public light? Check out the conversation about sex work above.
Not all people who do porn or sex work do it because they are have zero other options, some of us really like doing this work and prefer it and some of us do it on the side
Other people do it out of desperation or need, but the assumption that everyone in tr*nny porn is there unwillingly or that it’s always a bad thing is a stigmatizing (of porn and sex work) myth. For me, doing tr*nny porn has been really helpful in reclaiming my body, overcoming all kinds of body image issues, enjoying sex, and being happy with my own body and self (in way more ways than just sexually).
The fact tr*nny is often used in porn doesn’t mean that this is what makes it an offensive word. It’s an offensive word because it’s about not being a real woman. Tr*nny evokes an image of “hey look – this person is a dude trying to be a woman,” or to use more theoretical language “this person is attempting to perform femininity/femaleness and is failing.” It’s more complicated than that, but such is the gist.
Personally, I’ll keep the porn, but would love to change the name to trans porn. or trans woman porn. If that happens would the community reject this language as “associated with porn”? I certainly hope not! I’d like my porn to use affirmative language, not my community to condemn my porn.
I’m glad you raised this issue Stephen.
Today I hid a post from one of my pals on facebook because the use of the word tranny was negative. I don’t think they are transphobic but I also don’t think that as a straight cis woman they’d thought it through before they forwarded something “silly” online…ie if they were a “tranny” they wouldn’t have found it funny!
I’m a queer transman.
I know quite a few people (of any gender) who use this word in a positive way, either about themselves, about other people, or both.
I know some other people who only ever view/use this word in a negative way.
For me, the real question is intent. If a word is used to harm, then I question someone’s right to use it but if it’s used in good faith why pick them up on it? Well, there are a few reasons why we might… Sometimes someone uses a word that doesn’t apply to them, in a positive way but still gets it wrong or offends. Sometimes, in reclaiming a word we offend others.
As you can see I’ve happily reclaimed the word queer, even while it’s still used as a weapon against me…. some say I am wrong to do this. The narrative of hate-words is a complex and combustive one.
If a lgbtqi etc… person uses a word like tranny, most of the time it’s hopefully going to be in a positive way. This does not mean that they will always get it right. SOMEONE will always take offence!
Nice reply by the way Polly.
Snoopy, as a cis-gendered woman, surrounded by brilliant, shit stirring radical queers, please, instead of hiding the comment, drop a note as to why it’s offensive! It might not have been that it wasn’t thought through, it might have been that we’d heard a term from some of our friends and thought it was okay. By telling us that it’s not okay and educating, you’ll have to hide a lot less posts and this information will keep moving.
It would break my heart to upset one of my friends unintentionally especially to not be told that I did or why. I want to use words and terms with intent.
I disagree on intent, because even when the intent is supposedly good or positive, it still normalizes this word and the baggage that goes with it, including othering, dehumanizing, erasing experiences. Even if positive, the negative connotations are still there and undeniable.
I disapprove of the intent argument because it offers the person perpetuating these things the chance to do nothing, they don’t have to change. The responsibility is placed on the victim, the hurt party. “You just read it wrong, words have no meaning but what you give them.” But we know that isn’t true, and while I’m loathe to bring up race, you know what I’m referring to.
Stephen, thank you for this post! You make many good points and your levity is refreshing. It was a joy to read.
As for Buzz’s comment that Tilda Swinton’s pic comes up when you google tranny, I’d just like to point out that the Eiffel Tower comes up when you google “Dolore Park SF”. The interwebs works in mysterious ways…
Thanks for a great piece!
I’ve been struggling lately to talk to older, white, gay cis-men about this very topic. I wonder what you think about the use of this word by gay cis-men who occasionally dress in drag? I know that historically the word was used indiscriminately against trans women and drag queens, but I feel that in modern times it’s a LOT different for, say, a trans woman of color to reclaim the word versus a white cis-guy who dresses in drag once or twice a week. There’s a lot of resistance from this community to me bringing up the fact that the word might not be appropriate for them to use without really thinking about it first..
It’s big and messy, but I’d love the feeback of you, Stephen, and the other smarties that read OP!
xo
mo
Stephen,
A timely subject… thanks for continuing the conversation. With regard to subjects related to potential harm, a welcoming space to proactively address issues of exclusion, privilege, and reproduction of systemic traumas on ourselves as diverse individuals is, I think, foundational in any social justice or relationship building work.
So, thank-you Polly for your bang on insight and for injecting that nuance and complexity into this subject.
Lets try to keep spaces of conversation such as these safe for communication and ongoing reflectiveness. And lets extend this questioning of trans masculine privilege to all of us who do not identify as “brothers” and “men.”
Cheers,
Xander
Word, Xander, esp. on the matter of brothers and men.
Um… can I be your friend, Polly?
Sure Sophia – if you are in London any time – let me know – oppositejones@gmail.com
x
I’m not young, I’m a transgender woman, and yes it IS most definitely a slur. I’ve told everyone I know including best friends and family to NEVER call me this, unless they want to get knocked the fuck out. I’m not a “tranny,” a “transvestite,” or a fetishist — I am a transexual woman.
Sometimes it happens that by belittling the identities of those that are different from ourselves, we too become perpurtrators of hate-speech.
Just a thought there Jade.
YES. Thank you for writing this. The T word is not a word that belongs to trans men, and I cringe every time I hear one use it. (Especially since it’s pretty much always relatively privileged guys, ie: white, radi-cool, college-educated folks.)
I feel like trans men latch onto that word because they fear being seen as cis men and thus actually having to deal with the legacy of patriarchy that you inherit when you identify as and/or are seen by others as male. Basically, I don’t think the intent is malicious, but intent has never stopped hurtful actions from being hurtful.
Growing up, I was subjected to violent hate speech, implied threats of physical/sexual violence, and sometimes actual violence, all relating to my sexual and gender identities. Tranny was not generally the actual slur used, but I guess that once I grew up to love and understand myself, I realized that tranny was what they were all getting at. He/she, it, that, what the fuck are you, etc…all another hateful way of calling me a tranny. My experiences, along with tv adn movies, taught me that people whose gender varied from that which was assigned at birth are to be ridiculed, attacked, hated, whatever. I guess for most people, transmen have been invisible for so long, they maybe think we have somehow skated by and avoided all the oppression that goes along with being trans or gender variant or otherwise queer. Just because my bearded male appearing face (or other parts) doesn’t pop up when you google the word tranny doesn’t mean I haven’t spent my life feeling oppressed by it. So I think that we are all entitled to our opinions on this matter, but I occasionally use the word tranny to lightly refer to myself and other close friends who I know don’t have a problem with it. I would never use it to refer to someone who took offense to it or felt violated by it. Anyway, I do resent being told that I can’t use a word like this, a word signifying a concept that weighed down my youth with fear and loathing, and self refer as a way to own that former pain.
well said jettjettjett.
I resent people assuming they know what my experience has been, when they can only know their own experience. And if they have never been called a “tranny”, well, they should chalk it up to good fortune, but don’t assume that their good fortune has been mine. Fuck, I hate when people speak for my experience when they actually know sweet fuck all about the danger and threats to my life that I have survived. And if part of healing through that pain (*my* pain) is to proudly proclaim myself a “tranny”, then I would suggest to those who feel offended that you are choosing that offense and frankly being selfish by denying me my own way of dealing and healing from an experience you may not have had.
.It really speaks to a particular sort of self centered-ness that is prevalent in many transwomen and younger transmen. The same kind or arrogance that had the gaul to come up to me as we were waiting to march in the very first trans march in our community, and tell me “you know (in a snarky tone) *this* is a march for transsexuals.”
Really, ya snooty bitch (is what I wanted to say), but all I said was ” I know.” and continued the conversation I was having which was rudely interrupted by the ” I fit in , but you don’t, police”. Same kind of crap I used to get in lesbian bars…”you know this *is* a WOMAN’s bar?”…….geez, so many bigots, so little time. There sure is no shortage of people in the queer community to wave the “trans men are all misogynist and privileged” flag, not the least of which are the over educated, privileged white college transmen.
I’d like to know just where in the hell is all the rallying around, and support of, transmen who have been brutalized? Where is it, exactly. Because all I hear is about how “privileged” we are, and misogynist! I can’t fucking believe it…..I guess because I am so invisible to so many, you didn’t see me standing in front of abortion clinics acting as a barrier from the hate bots across the street who would yell slurs at young women entering those clinics. Or the times I washed the back of AIDS patients in hospice, during the times that when one entered an AIDS hospice, it meant, they never came out. Or those times I would let my friends stay at my place as they recovered from an abortion? Or the dozens of Take Back the Night marches I was allowed to march in, until I looked too much like a man, and then was banned from those marches. Or the times I am the only guy who argues in defense of women, amongst a group of guys who start speaking the truth of what they really think about women, and being called a “faggot” for doing so. Or how many jobs I can’t get, because it was discovered under my pants, was a vagina. Please do tell me, how is this a fucking privilege? I’ve been living below the poverty line and still can’t afford top surgery, while I have to suffer the complaints of much younger transmen, spending all the time divising theories who have had the privilege of having their top surgeries years ago, while I still struggle with the pain of biding every freaking day of my life. Please do, dictate to me about all my privilege!!
I am so GD sick of people who don’t live my experience exclaiming how privileged I am. Because from *my* experience, I had way way more privileges when I was living as a dyke. So if one chooses to be offended, because they want to SELFISHLY claim as word as theirs and theirs alone, then I propose that it is *their* attitude that needs changing, because they are further marginalizing those of us (transmen) who feel an affinity with the word “tranny”. When I use that word, it speaks of *my* experience, not anyone else’s, and no one gets to take that away from me.
And if you’re so offended, maybe you ought to look a little deeper at the real reasons you are offended, instead of pointing the blame and assuming the privilege of the one who is using that word for their OWN experience.
Hear, hear James. thank you.
wow.
a) boohoo, get over yourself.
b) how incredibly fucking selfish of YOU.
c) NO ONE is claiming to “speak from your experience”, and quite honestly, i can’t imagine anyone wanting to! sounds like a dreadful place! bleh!
Yes it it a terrible place. To have your bones broken by police and to be called tranny and an “it” and a “thing”. To be stripped searched and laughed at by cops who get to see the breasts I myself can barely look at. And according to the ivory tower types, not old enough to know ANYthing about real queer history, even though I’ve been slurred as a tranny by more than brutally violent cops, I;m still being dictated to by the ivory tower privileged about what words I can and cannot use. But you just go on living your privileged comfortable over educated ivory tower life. And continue looking out for yourself and only yourself, you selfish prat. And if you can actually use your education for COMPREHENSION, you would see many examples of younger white transmen speaking for the rest of us. Without ever living my experience, and not having the family to lend me money, nor the credit, because no one wants to hire a non-hipster transman, who can barely flatten his chest enough to get by……I propose it is you that is the selfish prat.
I feel colonized all over again. Got any diseased filled blankets you want to wrap me in?
ANT that is not very nice at all.
That’s because you’re probably too much of a privileged wimp to handle the reality of a life of poverty with no family, no source of income and a life of chronic pain, insomnia and disability, with a parent who started you off with those disabilities through multiple concussions. Not mention being a molested by a “friend” of the family: A cop no less (one of a few molesters in my life history), at age 6…..so your assessment of me, is typical of a jerk off with no empathy for lives less privileged than their own and lives in the self centered world of their own reality as if it’s the only one of any validity. Even though I was repeatedly raped and molested, I somehow survived, much to your Darwinist chagrin, only to be beaten and stripped searched by cops with nothing better to do, oh but to break several of my bones while they were at it; permanently damaging and making it impossible for me to play the many instruments I was able to, before my encounter with the tools of the patriarchy: cops. Legalized murderers. You’re probably a Darwinist of the worst kind; survival of the fittest and all.. I’m sure you’ll be thrilled when I kill myself, too. Jackass. Since I am poor, disabled and will never be able to afford top surgery, though when I was able to play all those instruments I raised thousands for others (mainly for transwomen so they could afford electrolysis and food, as well as young queers to keep a suicide hotline open. One ironically I am too old to use myself). But I suppose, according to you, I am better off dead. No worries. Summer is almost here, and I have no intention of sticking it out another year.
Btw, what’s ant stand for: A Nihilist Twit?
i think the fact that your first reaction to being targeted by that woman was to desire to call her a “snooty bitch” indicates you have plenty of misogyny you need to deal with.
so many of your examples involve being excluded from second-wave feminist spaces (woman’s bar, TBTN marches, etc.); do you honestly think trans women have been allowed in these spaces? while i won’t deny the validity of your experiences, the historical reality is that “womyn-born-womyn” has more often been wielded against trans females than trans males. (though of course that is fucked in its own way, because it’s saying that trans guys aren’t really guys.)
Frankly, I’ve been called a “bitch” more times than I can count, and I actually have never used the word against anyone. But my own mother was proficient with the word, especially when I was being raped or getting the shit kicked out of me by my own mother, for not wanting to wear a dress. I have never called anyone a “bitch”. It’s not part of my vocabulary, and it probably wasn’t even in my head at the time or the incident I was recalling. I’m willing to bet it’s you that has called more people “bitch” than I have called anyone an asshole. I was just using it as an example. But go ahead and pick out that, instead of the experience of being stripped searched naked in front of pig men (cops), who also broke several of my bones, because I’m a “tranny” and a “thing”. Thanks so much for your utter lack of empathy. It’s what I have come to know so well from my trans “sisters” (meh).
I didn’t transition until my late 40s, so I spoke of my marching and standing with feminists, because I lived MOST of my life with women, pretending to be a woman. And as a woman and a child, I was raped repeatedly. So to be suddenly excluded from a community I busted my ass for is clearly a pain you can’t relate to; and oh, by the way, I know EXACTLY what it’s like to be thrown out of a lesbian bar, LONG before I even knew what the word transman meant. Because I got thrown out of those bars, trying to girl myself up, because I hated my masculinity so much, that long before my transition I was being kicked out of women’s washrooms and bars because I was being mistaken for a transwoman. So I know that discrimination too..
Hey, since your so supportive (NOT) of my experience, why don’t you send me your address, so I can send you a personalized suicide note I am writing for a few people? Some who were kind, and some (like you) who were not so kind.
I’ll tell you in where I used to live, so you can have a little party and dance on the grounds I used to live. Sacred aboriginal grounds squandered by white privileged assholes. And yes, I am serious. I am planning to die before the summer comes, because I cannot handle another summer binding my chest and living in poverty and constant pain of binding. A poverty that will never afford me the chance to have top surgery. And btw, miss know it all, where I am from, transwomen are far more welcome in these feminist spaces than I am now fighting to stay a part of. They have been for decades. And the real feminists are constantly having to explain and defend to transmen-haters why they continue to welcome transmen in these spaces. And at least a good half of those women they have to defend their support of us to, are to transwomen, who seem to have a particular hate on for transmen, even though I have ALWAYS fought for their inclusion in events for women. And so do all the transmen I know, who are older and lived most of their queer lives with queer women. In fact, they are often the most vocal supporters of including transwomen in events that ironically so many transwomen want to exclude transmen from; well, I am done with living with this shit. Death will come as a relief.
Thanks for your lack of empathy. It’s duly noted, along with so many other of your sisters and young white privileged brothers, who probably started their hormones and had their top surgeries in their late teens and early 20s, and so speak of their experiences as if they are the pioneers of transmasculinity. Got news for you BOYS. You’re like 3rd or 4th wave transmen, ok? And you don’t get a say in how I live or die. That’s my choice. Chow. As far as I am concerned, the queer notion of “community” is such a crock of shit. No one really reaches out to help anyone. The most they do is bullshit at the funerals of suicides, crying for an audience, asking loudly enough for an audience, “why oh why, didn’t he/she just talk to me?”
” I would have done anything I could to help him/her!”
What a load of crap.
James,
It’s obvious that you are in a lot of pain. Your anger and hurt seems misguided here, and about something much larger than this conversation. I think your opinions are important and valid, just as anyone’s are, but your expression of them is problematic and that’s why people have been less receptive to what you have to say.
Regardless, your suffering is palpable, even if some of your words have been alienating.
You might consider this resource:
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline
Toll-free 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Monday to Friday, 4 p.m. to midnight (Eastern); Saturday, noon – 5 p.m. (Eastern)
The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline provides telephone and email peer-counseling,
as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States
Good luck, and I hope you find some peace in yourself and with the world.
I’m going to derail this thread a bit. Sorry but… welp, deal, guys.
James, you appear to be in tremendous pain. I can’t believe no one else has apparently said anything (that I can see), but please know that living is worth it. I cannot begin to speak from the experience of someone with twice the lifetime on me, but having been at that precipice a hundred times due to -some- very similar roadblocks, I can promise you that someone will be hurt if you end your life. I tend to take everything I read on the internet with a handful of salt, but this isn’t worth the risk of ignoring; not a human life. I don’t know what a friend would mean at this point in your journey, but if you need one, I can talk.
afkael@live.com
Let the spambots eat me alive with IMs, I don’t give a shit. Get an instant message client and friend me if you need a patient ear.
Hello. I wanted to comment because these recent debates have had an impact on me. I am female-assigned, genderqueer, roughly speaking.
I use the word tranny. I use it with trans woman friends who also use the word. I was referred to by this word by trans women, in a friendly manner, though I have not explicitly referred to myself this way. I do use the word occasionally in conversation, such as to make fun of people who oppress us (ei. putting the word in the mouth of a hater or trans basher). I have so much love for my trans woman friends, and sometimes this word brings us closer together. I have never used it as my identity and I have never used it with other trans men. It is not a word I take lightly, and yet I use it in humorous contexts because the humor is sometimes very dark and morbid and helps us deal with some of the stuff we have been through.
I’m a pretty sensitive person, so this has all been hitting me really hard. I acknowledge, to the best of my ability, the privileges that I have, but I also feel confused when it’s assumed that I am always coming from that position. I feel like this blog piece as well as the other two I’ve read in the last couple of days, assume that FTM spectrum people who use the word are quite privileged. That may be so in many cases. But I can’t reconcile that with being very, very poor all my life, for example. Connecting with other trans folks who are also poor, we don’t always use politically correct language. Sometimes our language might be harsher. That’s just my experience. It kind of helps me deal with negative experiences.
Anyway, I’m feeling alienated from the trans community more and more, but this is perhaps the final thing pushing me away. I don’t have the wherewithall for it. And if that;’s bad, or oppressive, or something, I’m sorry. I just want to live my private life the way that feels right for me and my friends.
i totally agree with this comment. rhetoric like this that tells us how we can and can’t identify really only serves to alienate people more. this article in and of itself has so many generalizations that really just sadden me. not all ftm’s are white, priveledged and young. not all trans women are poor. in fact, the majority of trans woman I’ve met in the last year or two make nearly double the salary I make. This may be unusual and out of the ordinary, but the point is that everyone’s experience is different and it serves no one to alienate people because of how they self-identify…. many of us have already been alienated enough just for being who we are. It’s far worse to have it come from the trans community.
Dylan, I just want to say that I think you’re onto something about the issue of using harsher language and being poor. I grew up poor. We didn’t always have enough food, and I certainly didn’t have new clothes or anything fancy growing up. I feel like sometimes when I’m chastised for using a term, even though my friends and I use the term endearingly, that people are failing to understand my own tiny subculture. In my community, we use the T-word in ways that are more descriptive instead of normative. I also often use the word “prostitute” instead of sex worker. Of course, I don’t think there is anything wrong with sex work (I was a prostitute at one point), so the word is descriptive, not normative.
Anyway, sometimes I feel like it’s a bunch of people in university settings sitting around figuring out what we should and shouldn’t say, even when our language is different from theirs. It sounds the same, but it is not the same. For instance, there is a difference between “bow” (a weapon to shoot arrows) and “bow” (a fancy knot). I was only recently exposed to the idea that the t-word meant a masculine trans woman. Seriously, this is new to me. It’s very hard moving into a new subculture or dominant culture that has these other meanings and those people making you feel like you’re bad or stupid for saying certain words. I also say things like, “hard up,” “scammed” (to mean making out), “sprung” (to mean really liking someone), and “the shit” (to mean really great), and I say bitch, fuck, dick, asshole, and every other “bad” word out there pretty regularly. But I smile a lot, love animals, and treat people with respect. Unfortunately, growing up poor seems to come up over and over, and I can’t get away from it.
I used the term to describe myself for a long time. One day, however, I was in a conversation with a very beautiful woman, in a place where I had been asked not to use the word. Since I was referring to myself, I slipped and said it, but fortunately, she didn’t hear me. She did ask me to tell her what I said, and I stated that I had used a term I was told not to use and apologized.
But the word still hung in the air, and the conversation changed. She went from talking about her accomplishments (riding a motorcycle across the US to get to a trans-safe environment) to talking about sex, with just that one little word. It degraded her in a way that had me by the heart in just a few seconds. I realized that I had just boxed her in, even though the word was not directed at her.
Since then, I have stopped using the word, even in the privacy of my own mind.
I’m interested in thoughts on how this discussion of the word “tranny” as problematic language, a marker of self identity, and/or name-calling toward others (depending on one’s relationship with the word) is the same/different as using the phrase “tranny chaser” to refer to people who fetishize trans* folks with a variety of gender identities. This phrase circulates in many trans* communities (genderqueer, ftm, mtf, gender variant) to label those who are not allies and who are unwelcome to partner with us for problematic reasons.
I was thinking about this as well as I read this thread.
Personally, I use the word “tranny chaser” to refer (negatively) to somebody who is trying to hook up with as many as possible of a stereotype (a “tranny”) as opposed to being interested in individual people for who they are. I also think of a “tranny chaser” as the sort of person who would call trans people “tranny” in a not-so-pleasant way.
I don’t use the word “tranny” to refer to myself (or anyone else) because a bunch of trans women have written that they think it’s misogynistic, and I don’t want to be pointlessly rude. I do use the term “tranny chaser” to refer to people who creepily chase trans people, because it’s the creepy term used on websites that cater to these people (see also: porn).
Steven, I absolutely agree with you. The people who get to decide to reclaim a slur are the people who have been terrorized under it. So, yes, occasionally a trans guy gets harassed as a “tranny,” but it’s a term used to bait trans women 99% of the time. I’ve had the slur directed at me in anger all of once; my trans woman spouse, at least once a week. So if trans women like her find the term repellent and triggery and don’t want it applied to our community, trans guys who find it “cool” should listen to their sisters instead of engaging in childish fits of nobody-tells-me-what-to-do pique.
i think you will find that yes historically the word was a derogatory term for a trans woman but today it is used against all trans people
Thank you a million times over for this. It’s frustrating and sad for me to see trans men using this word, even when they have been educated on its history of use. I am completely comfortable in admitting that I used it up until several years ago when some friends politely “schooled” me. And although it wasn’t easy to admit that I had been casually tossing around a word that many found hurtful, I learned from it and adjusted my way of thinking/speaking.
The saddest piece for me, though, is how trans women are ignored when they speak out on this issue. If we truly want to build an inclusive community, that means listening to others even when we feel defensive. It doesn’t mean we all have to agree or think exactly alike, but we would be well served by closing our mouths, listening, and showing respect.
Thoughtful, smart, intelligent, and bonus points for the Princess Bride reference, especially since the quote is spoken by one character in response to another one’s habit of saying, “Inconceivable!” Which adds various layers of irony to the proceedings.
The question of who has reclamation rights to slur-words is so complex (as language and naming always always always are). As is the question of what words mean. I’m resisting scare quotes here because I hate them, but if you look closely, you can probably see them.
But I do think a possibly *easier* (albeit not easy) question (and to me, the chief takeaway of Stephen’s essay) is who DOES NOT have reclamation rights. If the slur hasn’t been slung at you (or, maybe, at the category you claim), maybe you don’t have reclamation rights. I think there’s more digging do do here (hey, Stephen, looking for a thesis project?), but this discussion feels very important. It’s also related to other trans naming issues (e.g., pronouns).
Thanks for this. Smartest non-fiction I’ve read in a while.
RES
Thank you.
So many interesting, thought-provoking, honest, intelligent, diverse, heart-felt things said in this post and the ensuing comments conversation. I’m really glad to see it taking shape here. There’s a lot I’ll be digesting for a while.
Thank you all.
i’m sad to say it took me a long time to stop using this word to describe myself, but it’s a process sometimes, y’know? What finally did it for me a few years ago, was getting it into my skull that it was hurtful for many but not all the trans women in my life, peripheral or closer. Even though at the time i didn’t really understand, and honestly didn’t agree with many of the arguments because they seemed to be dismissing my very real and personal lived experiences (and honestly, they *were* doing that, because, well, it wasn’t about me—GASP!), at the core i knew i didn’t want to hurt these women. Hadn’t they been dealing with enough shit from others? Wasn’t it their names, not mine, so regularly on the list of dead and missing? That was enough to get me to at least stop using it temporarily, until i had a better grasp of the arguments i was hearing.
Sometimes, we gotta be willing to “suspend disbelief” for a time, in order to do no further harm while we investigate for ourselves. Because i didn’t want to hurt trans women, i was invested in the process of understanding, learning, and in being in actual solidarity, so i did (and do) the uncomfortable and sometimes painful work. In this instance, by stepping back, i could look at it with fresher, less defensive eyes, and what came back crystal clear was this:
regardless the fact i’d been called it for years, it’s not mine.
And i’m ok with that. It’s a process. One i hope more of us embark on.
Thank you for adding this to the list of resources we can use to help each other be better to one another <3
Whenever trans men get visibility, there are people using that word against us. The reason it isn’t that common is because of that lack of visibility… to transphobic cis people, all trans people are “trannies.” As a slur, it is used against mostly trans women because trans women are “defaulted” trans people. So much of the discourse I’m seeing around this subject is downright infuriating because it makes trans male invisibility an entire non-issue. Invisibility is -not- a non-issue, it’s a -huge- issue for trans men, and I think that seeming lack of a history can’t just be dismissed as transmisogyny.
That doesn’t mean I think trans men should reclaim it. This right here:
“Maybe we’ll get to the point where it’s a common enough slur against trans men that we can start to have the reclamation conversation.”
is exactly the point. “Tranny” -is- weaponized against trans men, because we are more visible, but as a community we have an almost youthful naivete about it that is frankly insulting. “Tranny is cool because it’s edgy! Whoo!” We don’t have the sophistication yet to see it as what it is and we are hesitant to recognize the difference between things which are primarily trans* issues and things which are primarily trans women’s issues because we have been invisible for so long (trans male appropriation of TDOR is a perfect example).
I don’t like it when trans men use “tranny” for that reason… but I quite frankly don’t feel that way due to transmisogyny as I would for, say, the aforementioned TDOR example. In that kind of discourse, trans men are basically painted as capital M-E-N MEN without acknowledging that we, too, are trans.
This is gorgeously written. Thank you.
I do understand that “passing as male” and masculinity in itself assumes much privilege. I also understand that I will never have heterosexual male privilege… ever, even if I wanted it. This piece says transmen are “in such a weird position in relation to patriarchy.” So are transwomen and everybody else on the planet. I lived 25 years as a woman and now as a queer transman. I also get that this article speaks on one idea of “transman” and one idea of “transwoman.” Transmen are not all young, white, of comfortable economic standing, “passable” or stealth, straight and male identified just like how not all transwomen are “poor trans women of color.” I personally often use the word tranny to define myself because I am transgendered. As a transgender person I am and have a history of being fetishized, discriminated against, sometimes invisible and sometimes a spectacle. I have been called tranny when caught squatting to pee in gay bars and when being outed by other people. I have been yelled at out of car windows when walking down the street wearing a beard and a dress. I often have fear of being hurt or even murdered because of my trans identity. I have been held at the border because my documented name and gender do not match my face. In a terrible economy where jobs are few and far between, my jobs are limited because my legal gender does not match my presentation, which can be discriminated against. When someone finds out that I am trans, I am often immediately hypersexualized because of my ambiguity, because my tranny genitals are of much more curiosity than bio men and bio women. What is in my pants is of great concern and what I do with it is also a wonder to many folks, providing a million questions. Men looking for transmen or “ftm tranny” on craigslist are looking for “freaky sex”. Men specifically not looking for trannies on craigslist say such things as, “no trannies, mtf or ftm.” The fact that my body doesn’t sell in mainstream porn does not disconnect me from the trans community and trans history. The ways in which I am invisible do not erase the times I have been discriminated against and in fact perpetuates not only discrimination from those “outside” of the queer community but people involved in the queer community. Taking the word tranny away from me is in itself offensive. Assuming that transmen are not poor, do not lack any privilege in society, don’t participate in the sex work industry in both positive, negative and neutral ways , etc. is also offensive. The fact that transmen are made invisible does not erase the hate I’ve received and the way tranny may be a word used against me. When you google transman, information and resources come up. When you google transwoman, information and resources come up. When you google tranny, transwomen appear on porn sites and transmen are not included. These are both problems. No transmen are to be found searching the word tranny, and in fact, you have to dig around and know the lingo to be able to find transmen porn in general. Transmen are still fetishized and still referred to as tranny. Most of the transwomen AND transmen I know are not wealthy or even particularly financially comfortable such as myself though some are.
I am not saying who is more, less or equally discriminated against. I don’t think that is useful. I am simply saying that I am trans, sometimes referred to as tranny and belong to this community. I’m reclaiming tranny because I am a fucking tranny. The life I’ve lived and both the pains and joys in this life have made me who I am. The experiences I’ve had as a trans person are a part of transgender history. It’s not each other that we should be fighting and perhaps those words used against us, reclaimed in great numbers, could show those that hate how beautiful, diverse and powerful us trannies are.
Very well put.
I’ve read this essay a couple of times now; and I can’t quiet seem to get it to leave my subconscious alone. So firstly, Stephen it is beautifully written. But despite it’s elegant cadence, it keeps rubbing me the wrong way.
So, I washed the dishes, gave my wife a pedicure, and watched Misfits. But here I find myself, still ruminating, trying to discern what exactly about it is like a ringing in my ear.
I’m not a person who uses the word “tranny” all that often. Occasionally, it seems to be the appropriate descriptive term for myself; but overall, it’s not my adjective of choice. I certainly wouldn’t use it in the company of someone who finds it offensive – which is very much how I handled the “dyke” moniker when I owned it.
So, I think the first thing that bothered me was the thought that I am being told (yet again) that I am somehow not the right kind of trans to own something – in this case, the word tranny. The feeling is not that dissimilar from when I’m told I’m not masculine enough, or I can’t really be trans because I lived as a lesbian for 15 years or (fill in the blank). So it just bugs me. I get that the term is generally used against transwomen but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get used against transmen. And so what if we are the 1% in this scenario? I just find this rationalization unpalatable. That being said, I think this is (obviously ) a much needed discussion as so many of us have weighed in here.
The other large part of this that strikes me is (as others have mentioned) is the assumption that we are all young, white, privileged guys. Are there a lot of young, white,privileged transguys? Yup. But again, this is such a broad generalization; And it’s not limited to this article, it’s actually something that I feel is a fairly pervasive theme in FtM literature.
So what’s my point? Who the hell knows. These are just some of the thoughts that keep swirling around in my head. So good job Stephen, you’ve managed to shake things up a bit on here – and that is to be commended.
“Sure, sometimes trans guys get called tr*nny. But let’s please be real: It’s not that often, and it’s a recent phenomenon.”
Thanks for the complete invalidation of my personal history.
I’d personally feel more “included” in a “movement” that wasn’t constantly trying to police how I relate to my own experiences.
Thank you. This comment is exactly how I felt about this article.
My only criticism is that you put stars in words like d*ke and tr*nny however you fail to do this in the word f*g. If you are talking about not using certain words I think that it is appropriate to include other words that are also hurtful (especially when you use them in this article).
Thank you for this. To the dudes who think they are as marginalized by transphobia and patriarch as trans women–clearly you do not know many. Try connecting with the many, many trans women incarcerated in male prisons and then we can talk. Check out the work of http://www.tgijp.org and http://www.srlp.org for a li’l dose of reality.
Sure, and why don’t you try connecting with poor transguys who still have their breasts, because they can’t afford top surgery and are incarcerated and threatened with rape/sexual violence by not only fellow inmates, but the guards who take pleasure in constantly threatening them. You clearly know nothing of what transmen are facing in prison. We ARE just as marginalized by the patriarchy. We didn’t create it and we don’t benefit from it; all you have are made up theories with absolutely no proof to show how we benefit. Frankly, it is you who is a trans-phobic. Trans-phobic towards transmen. Saying we benefit from the patriarchy doesn’t make it true. It’s just propaganda to justify your bigotry towards transmen.
I’ve sort of quietly watched this debate blow up from the sidelines, from public apologies from celebrities to arguments among trans people in my community. I’ve tried to absorb all of the opinions and arguments I have heard for and against the use of the word “tranny” and tried to formulate an educated, well thought out understanding of all of this.
I grew up in a small conservative rural town. Before coming out as a trans man in college, I was the token lesbian in high school. I had zero exposure to trans people until my junior year of high school when a panel from my state’s queer youth center presented at my school. Growing up I heard all kinds of words used with hate, but I can honestly say I never ever heard the word “tranny” used by anyone, perhaps because I genuinely didn’t even know that trans people could exist and wouldn’t have associated it with any particular group of people, and perhaps because most of my community was as oblivious as I was.
I think for me there was a very obvious, very jarring difference in language used in my small town versus the language used in my current city and queer community. I had limited identities available to me in my small town – there were lesbians, gay men, and bisexual people. I had only heard words like queer, fag, and dyke used hatefully and hurtfully, and felt prickly about using “queer” as a self-identifying word. In my experience, feminine men, gay men, and men who were perceived as “not man enough” were hatefully called queers. Through a lot of self-discovery I realized that the words I had been labeled with as a youth did not fit who I felt I was. I found that queer didn’t have to be a hateful word, that it could instead be a celebration, empowering, inclusive, and, in the end, who I was.
In my current community, “tranny” is used frequently as a positive, unifying identity and word. This is a community made up primarily of trans men. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any close relationships with trans women, or because a lot of us have been perhaps naïve to these distinctions that are being made recently, but I can honestly say that after all of the trans conferences, community events, and general networking I have done and attended I’ve never once been confronted or questioned about my personal use of “tranny” as an identity. My first exposure to the discussion about not using this word was on this past National Coming Out Day, when one of my trans guy friends made his Facebook status something to the effect of, “I’m a big ol’ tranny, Happy Coming Out Day!” and one of his trans woman identified friends posted a stern, detailed comment outlining all of the reasons why he shouldn’t be using that word. I was put off by her response, partially because it was so public and surprising, and partially because I felt personally defensive. Why couldn’t I, also a trans man like my friend, and as someone who has dealt with copious amounts of oppression and transphobia, call myself a tranny? Why couldn’t I, as she claimed, “reclaim” this word for myself, as I had done with queer and other words? I watched their exchange over the next couple of days as it got more intense and heated, and decided against making a comment either way and instead decided to think more about it. I wanted to do some self-reflection. Was I possibly perpetuating misogyny without realizing it? I was raised a girl, and lived until I was 17 as a woman. While, in the grand scheme of life, 17 years is not that many, it’s enough to really really know what it’s like to be a woman in our society, what sexism and misogyny feel like, and how difficult it is to exist on a daily basis. I think I was partially angered by the scolding my friend received, because I felt like in my heart I know what it is to be a woman, and while I will never know what it is to be a trans woman, I understand the most basic levels of oppression women systemically face because I’ve experienced it. One of the main points she made was that trans women are oppressed and discriminated against primarily on the basis of their perceived femininity, or lack thereof, and then further on the fact that femininity is made overall inferior to masculinity by the oppressive forces of our society. I found myself feeling defensive because I felt like I know what it feels like to experience discrimination and oppression based on perceptions about being “not feminine enough” as a woman. I am genuinely not trying to equate my experience with those of trans women, but I think my history as a woman and having similar (but I’m not saying the same) emotions around the way women and femininity are treated and perceived is part of the difficulty in figuring out where I stand on this is.
When I read this post, I was overall genuinely and positively interested in the discussion and thought it provoked. I truly understand the importance of owning privilege, recognizing privilege, and examining how that affects everyone in the queer and trans community(ies). As a trans man I feel some guilt and surprise at the privilege I have acquired through transitioning, and I think it has taken me some time to understand the privilege I unintentionally now have. Sometimes I feel like being a trans man also means I’m not allowed to talk about my experiences with oppression and discrimination among transfeminine identified people because I am now invisibly part of an inherently privileged group of people. As a feminist whose roots began in being angry about being an oppressed woman, I think I have a hard time moving on from my experiences as a young woman. And then, before I started testosterone or got top surgery I had to assert every single day that just because I had a high-pitched voice, a small frame, breasts, and feminine mannerisms it didn’t mean I wasn’t the man I felt I was. I went from fighting against being “not feminine enough” to “not masculine enough,” and since transitioning I think I now deal with what it is to be perceived as a feminine man. It all roots in the fact that white masculine men have the most privilege in our society. If the same argument about the word “tranny” were to be applied to my own distinct experience with the word “queer,” is it now acceptable to call myself queer because I have personally experienced the oppression a feminine/gay/not masculine enough man has faced? I don’t know.
I sometimes worry about arguments and discussions about word usage among members of the queer and trans community(ies) because I worry that in arguing about the nuances of words that have such widespread personal meanings and connotations we are taking away from focusing on the oppression that so rampantly and obviously exists institutionally and culturally. I do, however, recognize, that it can be word usage itself that aids in perpetuating systemic oppression unintentionally and subconsciously. I think it’s really important to recognize that every single person has their own history and journey and struggles, and I want to celebrate and respect that, and if that means that I should perhaps reevaluate the language I am using to be able to do that, I will definitely continue to actively reflect on that. I also worry that such arguments do more dividing than uniting, but I also think that the hurt that can be caused by not having these discussions and not addressing issues important to any member of the community is incredibly damaging and divisive as well.
I totally agree with this line from the last paragraph of your comment:
“I sometimes worry about arguments and discussions about word usage among members of the queer and trans community(ies) because I worry that in arguing about the nuances of words that have such widespread personal meanings and connotations we are taking away from focusing on the oppression that so rampantly and obviously exists institutionally and culturally.”
totally great piece and valid criticisms from others, also. stephen ira, imo, you are a very talented writer. this shit is so important.
some other shit that is important… this guy is totally running for president and actually has a chance with the GOP: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/rick-santorum-abortion-rape_n_1224624.html total pyscho…
i totally agree that white trans boys should stop saying “tranny” because it is offensive to transwomen, and i’ve said it in a self-referential way and i like that it fills in a gap about how i see myself, but if its loaded and offended a group of people that i mad respect then i can easily let it go, fuck that. i’ll call myself something besides that, maybe xtralover? but, ultimately, if transpeople are going to join forces about anything right now, as totally different as we all are, we need to actually worry about our healthcare and safety in the event of a republican candidate winning the presidential election, especially rick santorum. i would have never thought of that as a cause for concern, but homie did win the iowa caucus… google him, haha.
I’ve read and heard this argument over and over from various people. Well, all from transmasculine folks anyway. The transwomen in my life never took issue with my self identification. Although I moved away from my activist community a few years back.
I am an FTM son of a lesbian. When I was 15 I told my mom I identified as genderqueer. My mom was very offended to hear me use the word “queer”. She explain a lot of people in her generation had that word used against them. As far as I can remember, no one has ever called me queer as an insult. In my current community that word has almost entirely replaced LGBT in schools, community events, etc.
If FTMs can’t use the word tr*nny, should younger LGBT folks be using the word “queer”?
While I have self identified with words such as tr*nnyf*g, I can take it or leave it. But I identify strongly with the word queer, and if that word becomes the next one to nix, I won’t stop using it. I’m not a lesbian or a gay man or bisexual or pansexual. I am more genderqueer than FTM or transman. I have a very specific type that isn’t cleanly drawn along gender lines. Just as my own gender identity does not fit anything cleanly. My language may offend other people, but I am not verbally attacking them, only trying to describe who I am. As someone who’s identity is completely invisible in everyday life, I need language to bring myself out into the open.
totally agree. efforts to restrict someone’s ability to self-identify, when that identity is highly discriminated against does nothing but give more power to the hateful history behind these words.
Thank You for this article. Point taken and I will not include this word in my language again.
Lorenzo
THANK YOU.
I’m not offened by the term tranny nor to I assosiate it with transwomen of color. I think it presumptuous you would even bring up the subject of color with gender. Being that you are not of color. I actually am a transman of color and I think you should only speak about a situation if you are in it. I find it offensive you would even bring up anyone color regardless of there gender or gender identity.
I find it offensive that you present a viewpoint on the use of ‘tranny’ in reference to transwomen when you are not one.
…wait.
Thank you! Thank you! I’ve hated this word for years and cringe everytime I see it. It’s about time the community is talking about it. I’m 54 years old and though I didn’t start taking T until 2003 I’ve been around the TS community for a while. (1994 – back when transsexuals had to spell the word backwards on AOL in order to make a safe room to chat) I may not have been around as Jones said he’s been around – but, even then I hated that word. True – we are all different and have our own opinions. But, my opinion is that it is a derogatory word. Wonderful article. Thank you.
i think this is why many “dudes” get on the defense about this… why does it have to be an “as marginalized” situation? That sort of attitude negates the often difficult or painful experiences many transmen have had. I feel like I’ve been sold on not using the term anymore, as I don’t want to be a source of negativity albeit unintentionally…but certainly not due to comments like yours. Your aggressive dismissal of the marginalization of transmen makes me think that clearly you do not know many. our experiences of transphobia and patriarchial oppression may be different than those of transwomen, but they are real experiences. ps i definitely respect your shout out to the transgender justice project and the srlp, the latter of which i had never heard of and just checked out.
that comment was not directed at the articles author, btw, but meant as a reply to a comment above…tech difficulties
Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with this – it is not our place as men to use the word, though I have actively been insulted with it at work a couple of times… I have issue with this:
“You know as well as I do: it’s the image of a trans woman. A “male” body, or rather, a body doctors would assign as male, in women’s clothing. A person attempting–and always failing, in these images–to be female. That’s what the image has historically been, and with only a few tiny changes, that’s what the image is now.
Whenever I have this debate, I suggest people google “tr*nny.” I stand by that suggestion. Click over the image tab and you’ll see trans women and drag queens galore, a few car parts, and fabulously enough, a picture of Kate Bornstein with a photoshopped mermaid’s tail, but almost never a trans man. When you do see trans men online associated with the slur, they’re almost always calling themselves tr*nnies. They’re not having the word pinned on them by cis people. This distinction is excruciatingly important.”
I personally do not associate the word with one particular stereotypical image. Maybe I’m a freak but I hear it and I do actively think of the whole spectrum, from male no neutral to female and all the crossings over. It brings to my mind the face of every trans person I have met. It does not, for me, bring to mind, for instance, Dr Frankfurter of RHPS.
I don’t think we should appropriate this word for ourselves, and I would never use it without being in a safe space for myself, my friends, and the word itself… But maybe not everyone /does/ associate the word with the images Google provides, and maybe that’s something that those who do, despite it not being their place, appropriate will someday change?
I am with Jones on this; I am sick and tired of younger, more privileged trans men dictating to me what our histories are. Have you ever been beaten by cops? Well, I have. They broke several bones and I am forever scarred by that experience.. And you want to know what slurs they used against me? “TRANNY”….along with “thing” and “it”, so if I want to continue using the word “tranny”, I will. And I am not gonna let some smug know it all 20 something tell me how to reclaim and define myself. You seem to fail to see that while transwomen were taking up space and speaking for everyone as trans, while completely ignoring the fact that they weren’t the only transpeople on the planet, transmen were quietly getting the shit kicked out of them and in some cases getting killed without ANY support from trans women and/or the queer women we were so much a part of until we found our way. Many of us are older, and didn’t transition until we were older, because all media was dominated by transwomen’s experience. And now, just when we are finally getting our voice, and a foothold on life there’s this relentless transmasculine backlash going on, as if our pain isn’t as relevant or as hurtful an experience as transwomen. There’s this completely STUPID notion that it’s easier for many of us because we “pass” more often than not; well how about the pain of being invisible to a community you have been a part of and struggled with for decades. And all of sudden you are labelled the enemy, even though most of us are more feminist than the average dyke and spent more time protesting for women’s and lesbian rights than the young people so privileged to sit in universities devising theories to be critical of who we are simply because we claim the word “tranny”. Just cause your mind is limited to seeing tranny as a transwomen, doesn’t mean everyone’s mind is that limited. Clearly the police who broke my bones didn’t see it that way. STOP TELLING ME HOW TO BE. There is such a lack of respect for older transguys who have had to live for years as dykes because there wasn’t any representation of us in our youth, as there was for transwomen. Why don’t you try to understand our position a little more. You’re so clearly biased towards transwomen’s experience, you seem to forget we existed right along side them, only we were forced way back in the closet. And no one bothered to open those closet doors to give us space or air.
First qualifier. I am a poor, light coloured, transman who deals with severe mental health issues and cannot find work.
What I see is such vicious hatred of the “patriarchy” that anyone, ANYONE who would willingly align themselves with it (say by realizing they are male and making efforts to live as such) is automatically the enemy. That bothers me to the Nth degree.
That I, and my brother transmen, have realized we do not wish to live in our female assigned bodies as they are anymore and would prefer to move towards a masculine presentation, IS NOT IN AND OF ITSELF AN EVIL CHOICE.
transmen have very little visible history however being called tranny as an insult has happened, and will continue to happen.
when the young, well educated, light skinned, male identified folks come out of their ivory towers to live in the world as it is, and stop positing theories about this, that and everything else, they just may experience the world as it is.
I’m a tranny, a female bodied, male identified tranny fag and i’m proud of it.
just to be clear, I agree with your point of view.
I will stand proudly with you any day, brother Wes.
Meegwetch
In your complaining about trans women “taking up space” and hogging all the media, did it occur to you that maybe we didn’t want it to be that way? That the media revolves around us because it thinks we’re contemptible freaks who should be ridiculed as cartoonishly-fake women, and you’re actually jealous of that spotlight? That maybe trans women weren’t paying so much attention to you because they were busy struggling themselves while they were being beaten and killed and being reviled by the cis world and being treated as drag queens by the gay community?
“there wasn’t any representation of us in our youth, as there was for transwomen”
Yeah, when I was a kid, I learned of the existence of trans women on tabloid TV shows where we were called “thing”, “it”, “tranny”, “shemale”, etc. I don’t know where you got this idea that there’s an empowering representation of trans women for us to look up to because I sure have never seen it. I knew from the media and friends and relatives that if I was a trans woman I could look forward to a life of being treated as an ugly freak who deserved to get beaten up or killed, and I still found the strength to transition anyway; you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t weep for you having to do the exact same thing.
i think that this all a load of shit and i dont think it matters now dont get me wrong if im around someone who doesn’t want me to use it cause it hurts their feelings i wont but i think every ones being way to political and over sensitive over a word that i know a lot of people use as there gender ID (when i say a lot i can easily name 20 people) and i have the same feeling when it comes to any word including every one of them used as a reference to a slur in this article
Great piece Stephen. I’m curious what your thoughts are on drag queens, who when not performing, present and live as cis gay men and feel a claim to the t word. In my community, it doesn’t seem to so much be trans men who feel the right to reclaim this word, but the cis gay men i mention above.
IMHO, the only time I think it is acceptable to use the term “tranny” in conversation, in ANY conversation, is if you’re saying something like “Man, my tranny is slipping bad and it’s going to cost a lot of $ to fix it”
Honestly, I’m so sick of people turning every little thing into a cause. If you don’t like the way someone identifies, then don’t identify that way. You don’t get to determine the word(s) someone uses to define their identity. Words have different connotations to everyone and you can’t dictate someone’s experience and history with a word and how they should use it.
You are naive if you think that trans men are never referred to as “trannies” by bigots. Maybe you haven’t heard it as much as you do with trans women because we are a much smaller population, but I promise you it’s very much real. Where I come from, the hate is pretty equal but that’s besides the point. If someone has been referred to negatively using this term and they want to try to turn it into something positive to make it less painful then why prevent that? We all deal with hate in different ways and no one gets to speak for the experiences of all trans women and men? You have no idea what everyone’s experience is and just because your circle of friends may feel that way about the word “tranny” doesn’t mean that all trans-women feel that way. I too have tons of trans women friends of all ages and backgrounds and while not all of them use the word “tranny” to self-identify, none have ever told me they felt threatened by a trans person using this word. Sure, if they heard some stranger call them that in a hateful way it would be threatening, but that’s not what we’re talking about. This is about SELF-identification, and if you are offended by how someone ELSE identifies, too bad.
By your logic, queer women should never use the word “dyke” to self-identify because some lesbians feel threatened and offended by that word. However, many queer women prefer that to other terms and they don’t stop using it because some have a different view or experience with that word. The word “dyke” would have always remained a hateful word if queer women hadn’t started using it in a positive light to take the power from it. It’s not about “…us wanting our very own slur,” it’s about finding a way to take the power away from hate speech. Burying the word in the sand doesn’t stop bigots from saying it, so why not make that word mean something else so that maybe someday people won’t use it as an insult or to invoke fear?
I’m so tired of people turning every little thing into a cause and trying to be so politically correct by making words like “tranny” off-limits to TRANS PEOPLE, which only gives their hateful origin more power.
JR excellent response and exactly how i feel but said in a much better way than i could x
Agreed. Words, at the end of the day, only have the power WE GIVE THEM. It’s very easy to forget what Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Why do we keep consenting to let people’s words hurt us? Physical actions we can’t always stop, but words……..there we have the power.
Yeah, let’s ban the DYKE March now, because some lesbians are offended by the word, and then we can spend the next several decades debating over a frigging word. We’ll spend thousands on surveys, hold “conscience building” workshops and in the end come to the conclusion that no one is happy with any one particular word. Have the gaul to call it an art installation and get grants to continue doing nothing of real value.
Ah yes, queerness, (ooops another word no one can agree on) …yes, queerness, the epitome of exercises in futility.
Expensive exercises in futility with money that could have been better spent helping poor transpeople get the surgeries and hormones so many of the under 25s have had access to for years, with mommies and daddies and/or bank accounts or illegal beer parties to raise funds for the “cool kids”, or some such other hipsters, that can afford themselves that luxury. Not to mention their liberals arts educations they seem to spend the entire youth in, right into their mid 30s. Must be nice. To get to spend days criticizing the lives of others you’ve never experienced and probably are too soft to handle in the first place. Babies who’ve had their paths paved by those they bash and shame.
Im sorry babe. I am a real woman and I am pro tranny. Tranny is a playful and affectionate term people like to say becuz its cute n clever. There is no insult. I am no less of a woman because I was born with a wiener. If u wish to call me a tranny as a result, I take no offense. I love the word.
On the issue of trans men, I agree there is far less visibility, but I offer something else. Female transsexuals are grandiose by nature. Male transsexuals are strong and silent. ;D. I don’t know that id define a word by what comes up when u google it, but I strongly feel tranny is not a slur, but a perfectly respectable, cute, pop culture reference to a female transsexual. The name itself embodies a sexual submissiveness to man. While a trans man can call himself a tranny, I feel they need their own word. Something that embodies the strength and masculinity of a female born man.
What about effeminate FTMs who are primarily attracted to men?
Thanks for this article. It is beautifully written. And I agree we should always listen to the folks who are more marginalized than us. And the fact is trans*women are more marginalized than trans*men. Period. The fact that trans*men are more invisible proves that fact. (and I could go on and on about passing privilege. which many if not all trans*men who have been on hormones for any significant period of time have experienced)
I would respectfully call bull on that. Invisibility does NOT equal privilege. Not even close, sorry. Invisibility equals isolation, fear, self loathing, doubt, depression and can often leave one suicidal.
I’m not going to argue who is more ‘marginalized’ because this is, oddly enough, not a contest to see who’s the greater victim here.
Wesley, I wholeheartedly I agree with you calling of this as absolute bullshit.
I’d also like to ask you, if you care to share, and please decline if you feel uncomfortable answering this, but how does this make you feel, as a human being, as a trans man, if in fact you are, to read all this BS about transmen?
Your feelings matter just as much as any other member of this community and just because you ID as a man ( if in fact you are a transman) doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the same amount of respect and support as ay other member of this community.
How you come to the conclusion that transwomen are more marginalized than transmen indicates clearly that you have no clue of what you are talking about.
Your argument that transmen are more invisible could just as easily draw the conclusion that they are, in fact, MORE marginalized than transwomen by virtue of that very invisibility. It’s so typical of this community to fight over the top prize of who has it worse, usually led by transman-hating transwomen and their legions of yes men gutless wonder PC transmen. I’m so sick of it all, that it just makes me want to drop out all together, find myself a nice transman and leave behind the absolute bullshit of this so called community, because it does a better job of tearing each other down then lifting each other up. I have seen over the years more female born (including transmen) do so much more work in terms of fundraising, healthcare for people with AIDS and fighting for rights of transwomen sex workers and other areas of service that they will likely never need (like abortion…as well as AIDS, because the majoirty in our so called “community” who get AIDS are those born with penises) and for all the work transmen and bull dykes do, what do they get in return? Sweet fuck all in terms of recognition, except for getting continually bashed and told their lives are easier than the lives of transwomen. You’re all so out of your fucking minds. Thankless heartless, transman-bashing minds. Is it any wonder so many transmen are so hard to find, when all they get is bullshit bashing and the assumptions that they benefit from male privilege? Well, where the hell is your proof? All it is, is positing, mostly from fucking ivory towers that many transmen have no “privilege” to access, so you get to bash them without anyone debating these pathetic theories. Pathetic theories with zero proof to back it up. Most of the transmen I know, had menstrual periods for longer than they have been transmen! Many were raped, as GIRLS when they were children and teenagers, to “make women out of them”. Your collective insensitivity towards these transmen, makes me completely ashamed to have anything to do with the queer community. It seems all you want to do is blame transmen for things they have absolutely no control over, for if they did have actual control over these things, they wouldn’t exist at all, and would be the first in line to eradicate what is wrong with the way so many men treat women, if they were allowed the space to, instead of being so routinely criticized for the things they had no power over. Many transmen had way harder lives than some transwomen, but you just would rather silence them all and not give them the space to share their stories, often because you can’t bare the thought that some have had harder lives than any of you. Some of you are so hung up on having the hardest of lives, it”s rather pathetic….go ahead, win the prize of having the hardest life. What a trophy (eye roll) So go ahead, that’s okay….you go on and keep on bashing transmen. I’ll just drop out of the queer community all together and find myself a nice decent transman to love (not too hard to find, despite your poor view of them, there are more good ones than bad, and more feminist than most of you put together)……….so many here who have had nothing but negative things to say about transmen are just a bunch of twits with close to zero lived experiences forming opinions written by others who have an agenda that includes discounting the real and sometimes very painful lives of transmen. Some, way more painful than those of transwomen. You can’t even imagine how hard it is for them to even walk out the door, or even answer it without binding up their chest, for fear of being discovered, because you have no clue how physically painful it is and how distressing it is, to wonder every moment of the day if your chest is protruding and giving you away. I’ve known guys who had their lives nearly exterminated when they were found to have breasts…..and then raped. I have tried to bind and I only have a small B cup and I can tell you, it’s bloody painful and even harder to breath. I can’t imagine having to do that every single day year after year. And yet you sit all high and mighty making claims about which you know nothing about. Many transmen live in poverty and have no money to get the top surgery, so they suffer for decades. Yeah, sounds like a real life of ease, ya fools. By virtue of being out and visible makes your lives easier, because it’s easier for you to form communities, while so many transmen live in isolation. Thanks for tearing apart, rather than bringing together. And your competitiveness for who has it worse, is pathetic.
I suppose my dropping out won’t matter much either, because in some of your views I am not queer enough either, because I am a femme dyke and proud to be, and will never change nor will I ever stop calling myself a femme dyke because someone takes offense. There will never be a shortage of people in this effed up community taking offense to something because they clearly have so little else to do of any value. So instead of building bridges and communities , they get all riled up over words. Unfuckingbelievable.
Sign me, lover of transmen and butchiest of butches. The rest of you can frig off. Because decades of this bullshit has just left nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth and I am sick and bloody tired of it all.
I really agree with this comment. The part that saddens me more than anything else is that most of the people commenting and writing articles like this that have such a negative view of trans men ARE trans men themselves. It’s so sad that so many trans men view this entire community as misogynistic, white, privileged hipsters with a life of total ease and comfort. Some may have had the good fortune of financial security, etc., but let’s not erase our histories and generalize everyone’s experience into a neatly wrapped package.
I truly don’t understand what it is with the queer community’s utter fascination with the “who had it worse” debate. Why are we focused on these trivial matters? You could argue that everyone has had some privilege. Remember, trans women were once seen as men and benefited from that privilege, just as we were once seen as women and had to deal with being on the receiving end of misogynism. This isn’t a competition of who is the biggest victim! And honestly, I’m so horrified by how this article and the ensuing comments have painted trans women out to all be “poor women of color.” That comment alone implies that being a racial minority is somehow a bad thing that ultimately equals victim. We as a community need to start focusing on how STRONG we all are instead of competing for a gold medal in the victim Olympics.
I looked up the word Tr*nny, it has a lot of meanings. Like being transgendered, cross dresser, a car transmission, transister radio just to name a few.
It is a shame that poeple only thnk that its meaning is a tranwoman and that people use that word to get back at the transgendered people that live in the same world as they do.
I do not use that word like some people do, I have never heard any true transwoman call her slef a tr*nny.
When I was growing up when people talked about going and geting a tr*nny they were talking about getting a very major part for the car ( transmission ) not a person.
I am a transman and proud to be one and love who I am for now I am happy with my self, I have been transitioning for almost 2 years now and have never been happyer in my life.
I feel people need to look up words some times before they miss use them
Absolutely perfect case against the use of the word. I won’t be using it anymore and I plan on (perhaps irritatingly) discouraging it.
I find this post interesting for a lot of reasons. I, too, am uncomfortable with privileged transguys using the T word. However, most of the conversation about NOT using the word is coming from that same privileged class of folks. I think we should really be careful about saying things like, Transmen don’t suffer from trans oppression or something. We should really think about which transmen we’re talking about. As I read through the comments, I’m noticing that the men speaking out against it are *mostly* white, young, college educated, and have passing privilege. What about the less economically advantaged, transmen of color, those without passing privilege who DO suffer from transphobic violence in much higher proportions than their white, liberal arts college, “brothers” who can afford hormones and surgery? I too have a lot of passing privilege, so no, Tranny is not a word that is leveled at me by people trying to hurt me. However, I know of many older t guys who don’t have access to hormones or surgery and so don’t have passing privilege – they hear this word a lot more than me.
To be clear – I love this post. I just think we should be careful about specifying the experiences we claim to represent. Things are not as simple as transwomen own this oppression and thus this word so transmen can’t use it. Which transmen are you talking about?
Why does a member of a community need to be marginalized for it to be okay for them to use a word? You could argue that plenty of financially stable, educated, white queer women use the term “dyke” to identify and no one is saying that it’s wrong because they aren’t poor, etc. There isn’t a rule that you must suffer or be victimized in order to use a term to describe your identity. To say that a TRANS person can’t call themselves a tranny just because they aren’t poor, pass as male and are white is ridiculous logic. It makes no sense at all.
“Sure, sometimes trans guys get called tr*nny. But let’s please be real: It’s not that often, and it’s a recent phenomenon.”
Sorry, I hear transguys call themselves this all the time. Though my experience with this word does not reflect everyone’s, it is no less valid either.
There’s a fine line between starting a productive dialogue about the use of language, and assuming that your own privileged sense of outrage has the right to control the language of others.
I understand this word has a troubled history and the potential to offend, but let’s be real: what word in the English language doesn’t? The queer community has worthier battles to fight. And personally, I’m sick of controlling and perpetually offended white queerfolk telling everyone what to do all the time.
There are a great many remarks that I wanted to make, and felt obligated to make, as I read so many of the above comments. I found many to be profound and well composed, I found many to be rude and belligerent and many more to fall within the middling spectrum. This is not to imply that I am in favor of the profound and against the belligerent, that has as much relevance as the term being discussed. It is apparent to me that so many of the above posters have so diverse an experience of this path that many of us walk, that a blanket statement would only serve to add just another log to the fire.
As a transsexual woman, having surpassed a half century of life, and fairly young in my transition I do feel that I need to respectively ask those around me to not use this term. Like so many trans-women I find this word to be hateful, derogatory and discriminatory. In my experiences, it has always held a dirty, negative connotation related to the sex trade. I am not a sex worker and do not want to be associated to being one. Now I know that that comment will spark some strong defense from those of you who do own this identity. I do not have anything against you, your profession, your lifestyle, your making (potentially) far more money than I could expect, or jealous of many of the ‘priviledges’ that many of you enjoy. I have and have had many friends who, many dear friends, who proudly belong to this segment of society and in some respects I admire your strength, confidence, and zest of life. I have nothing against you, but at the same time, I do not want to be classed in the same category any more than I want to be aligned with being a politician (umm…sorry, didn’t mean this to be come across as an associative slur against you), a man, a man-in-a-dress, a drug dealer (pharmacist), privileged white woman, arborist, or countless other professions. I am who I am and nothing more or less.
I simply ask for the respect that this word, which to me personally, is so offensive and derogatory that I would love to see it wiped from the world’s lexicon. In respect to those who would like to see its use to become increased, I would beg that you not work towards that end. Maybe it’s because I’m older and not optimistic about learning this new trick, but there is a very dark history to this word and no increase in usage will erase what it means. There was a time, not long ago indeed, that the N word was a very hurtful hate-filled word in our society. There has been an upsurge in the use of the word in a segment of the African American community, I guess determined to reassociate it’s meaning, but I know that I still find the term offensive and I know many African Americans feel the same way. Perhaps someday, after us old farts die off, that these terms can evolve into something different, but I fear I will never see that day.
I just ask that as long as you walk in my presence that you refrain from its use and to extend the same courtesy to those who feel the same as I do. Thank you.
I’m a transman a few months into my transition, and I’ve been following this conversation closely. I’ve never identified as tr*nny, and I guess because of that I’ve never really understood the furor over respecting the wishes of women who feel really uncomfortable with the word. Seems to me to be a pretty basic request, and I’ve always found that word to have an edge of hate in it. But, interestingly, the power of the word hit me very hard yesterday.
At a work meeting, a gay, male co-worker used it in a side conversation to “joke” about the sort of porn another co-worker looked at. It was shocking, and all the more hateful for his breezy tone. I felt deeply offended and hurt, though I knew he wasn’t talking about me.
He as talking about transwomen.
As I figure out how to address this at work (I later felt frustrated that I didn’t know how to tackle it in the moment), I thought I’d share the story here as anecdotal evidence of the argument being made in the post. I think complexity is important, everyone’s voices are important, but privilege is — at its heart — the instinct to render a struggle invisible because you yourself don’t experience it.
Because of the timing of the incident, I thought I’d share the story here. Thanks for the dialogue, especially the productive comments, and most especially the feedback from the transwomen. I’m glad to see people come together and work through this as a community.
This is the first post I’ve read here, though I’m sure it won’t be the last. I read most of the comments but I’m at work, so I apologize if I missed someone saying any of this earlier. And if I use the wrong words to describe something, please tell me. Disclaimer: I’m a cis-gendered woman and I’ve never really been a fan of the word “tranny.” Even as a kid, I found it derogatory, but as I got older and realized that gender is more of a range than two black and white options, I liked it even less.
I think, from my perspective (which comes from primarily interacting with cis-gendered heterosexuals), a lot of people don’t understand that transvestite and transgender are not the same thing. I know many people who would probably be hard-pressed to define the difference, and they’re the same people who seem to subconsciously think of transvestism as something of a game, like kids playing dress-up. So that’s some shit right there. But then to apply that attitude of something being a game toward transgendered people because they can’t see the difference is like…double shit. I obviously don’t know first-hand, but I would imagine that being told “you’re all the same, right?” and then being invalidated even further by a word that doesn’t take into account any of the struggles that go along with your individual experience would make me want to punch someone.
So that’s the reason I don’t say “tranny.” I consider someone’s gender to be whatever they say it is, and it has zero relevance to the role they play in my life, so I’m not using a word that, among people “like me,” represents a pretty dramatic lack of understanding and empathy. I hope I’m making sense here.
P.S. I also want to clarify that I do not support bigotry of any kind. I think it kind of came off like I was saying “Well it’s ok if they’re a transvestite,” which was not at all my intent. Treating anyone’s life like a game is pretty fucked up. Unless your life revolves around playing Twister or Scrabble or something, in which case can I come over?
Stephen, it is pretty impressive that in your privileged young life you’ve had the opportunity to learn the histories of all transpeople and feel comfortable enough to think you should be speaking for us and that you should be listened to Seems to me like you think you’re in a superior position above many of us because of your privileged background.
A great commentary, and one that may help everyone think about this issue.
I think this post raises some very interesting points that I am and will continue to think about.
But I think Stephen’s push for everyone to draw the same conclusions about his points (and not to, you know, see others he hasn’t mentioned) does suffer a little bit from young/liberal arts-itis, as Sean (a little too snippily, I’d say) suggests. I’m 40. Some of the rigid beliefs related to language I had in my 20s seems sort of silly to me know.
I think that a point that is too quickly (and kind of nastily, I’d say) dismissed in the piece is that maybe trans men do really need their own word. I might even suggest that it’s a lot easier for gay-identified FTMs to sit in judgment because you still have words for yourself, as you mention (“fag”). Those of us who date women are more invisible as queers.
I also know language changes and that different communities use it differently and that context matters. Which is why I think this should be a (civilized) debate, rather than a sermon.
Thank you, Stephen!
I really don’t know what is up with all these commenters who don’t understand kyriarchy or that NO YOU ACTUALLY STILL CAN’T USE THIS WORD EVEN IF YOU’RE POOR. OR NOT WHITE
Reading the comments makes me fear for the queer community’s future (then again, as a femme trans woman, I’m not really included to begin with.)
Wrong again RST. I will continue to call myself a “tranny” if I so choose, when I so choose, and you have ABSOLUTELY NO POWER over me to stop me from doing so.
And enough with the pathetic whining about how you aren’t included in the queer community. You are more included than I am, even though, since I only transitioned in my 50s, because of course, the only voices heard for decades were those of transwomen****, who spoke as if they were the only representation of trans people in the community. Is it any wonder I had no clue that there was a word for people like me, when all media was dominated by people like you? And for all those decades I fought for years at the risk of losing many friends to include transwomen in queer women’s events (as well as bi women, which I got equal shit for) isn’t it ironic that after decades of fighting for transwomen inclusion in queer women’s events, that it is often transwomen who fight the hardest to exclude us from queer women’s events. And then they are the first to get all pissy when events for queer women say things like “women and transfolk” are invited, because as usual they think that they are being discounted as women, because the term “transfolk” is included, when in fact it has absolutely nothing to do with women, but it is there in fact, to let transMEN know that they are welcome, because believe it or not, unless we’re gay, which many of us aren’t we still have a strong affinity with the queer women’s community, which makes sense since many of us had periods and cramps and therefore and affinity with women, until our 40s and fought with, and stood along side queer women for decades, so you just want to kick us out without a community. How magnanimous of you.all. You’d rather us stay closeted and isolated. Well get over yourselves, because it’s not going to happen. Perhaps if want to have your own segregated events like they did with african american school children in the 50s, then organize them yourselves, instead of demanding from the hard working open minded people who organize these events to close their minds for your benefit, and yours alone. I’m willing to bet they wont be all that well attended. We’re here and we’re here to stay, and you no longer get to speak for all transpeople. And if you decided to read the fine print of many of these event posters/cards, you would see that cis gendered men are not welcome. And transfolk are included to let us know we are most welcome. And don’t presume to think that all transmen are insulted by being called “transmen”, because I for one, don’t care. I used to think that gay (especially white) men were the most self centered of the bunch, but they created many AIDS organizations that raised money for men who couldn’t afford housing, and found it for them, who couldn;t afford food and bought it for them, who couldn’t afford their medications and bought it for them, who couldn’t afford clothes and bought it for them, who arranged for RMTs and other health professionals to treat them for free, when often they weren’t treated at all, whether free or not and who were lonely and isolated and spent time and befriended them. Became their buddies to check on them and do things together that real friends actually do. They became more like family to them then actual blood relatives.The only organizations out there for trans people (mainly women) are for those under 25. And here I thought that gay men were the most ageist and self centered of the queers. Looks like I was very very wrong.
*****of course not all transwomen are this bigoted towards transmen, but there are a fair amount of them out to be noticed are a large contingent, and many make no attempt to hide their contempt. Well, one day, it just might be reflected back to you, if you aren’t careful. I would never condone such contempt for transwomen, but I can certainly understand from where it was incubated.
JUST STOP USING ALL FREUD”IAN” BINARY TERMS AND U WON’T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO CALL ONE ANOTHER, BESIDES UR NAMES WHICH MOST OF U MAKE UP FOR UR SELF…. MY POINT IS USE AND ABUSE THE WORD TILL IT MEANS WHAT U WANT IT TO MEAN… ALL WORDS EVOLVE OVER TIME,,, MORE THAN PEOPLE DO SOMETIMES EVEN
I understand where this piece is coming from, but disagree with a lot of the hidden attitude this is based on. I have never really spoken the word ‘tranny’ other then when talking about skating ( I’ll always be a tranny skater, hehe) mostly cause english is not my mother tongue. If I know I can offend someone and it’s a simple thing to refrain from doing what is offensive, I don’t speak this word or act in this offesive way. This does not automatically mean I feel that other’s should do the same. For some this is a reason to not use a word or not act a certain way, for some it isn’t. Whether a person will refrain from these words or actions will mostly come down to other (sub conscious) character traits and experiences then the supposed pseudo socio-economic bullshit reasons written here. I don’t think that I have ever seen a discussion turn a word useless by disregarding nuances and complexities so fast as here is being done to the term ‘privilige’. I’m sorry for being so harsh. I guess I am a so called privileged white person. I live in Amsterdam and have access to some of the best health care for transsexuals there is. I am not rich in a sense that I could pay for my own treatment if I had to. I have majored in philosophy and know my share of gender studies/feminist babble. It’s a dead end. I don’t even think this was well written. Very often I think people chose ‘battles’ like this to fight because they are some of the easiest ones and the ways they chose to do it are some of the safest ones. “yeah, I want to put in work for my ‘community’ and start a ‘important discussion’ on a relatively small website. At the same time I want to come off as smart and educated and understanding. If I do something so important as starting a discussion on the fucking internet, I at least want people to give me credit for it. Right?” Are you kidding me? It’s the easiest way. If you hate misogynie and patriarchy than fight that with the people who want to fight it with you, even if you might disagree about how you self identify and even if someone might feel uncomfortable sometimes about how others identify. Actually, if you hate patriarchy so much, get out of that theory bubble and start fighting capitalism or something. It will probably better the lives of more women all over the world and not just women. Go on the streets somewhere and defend someone actually getting beat up and being called a tranny. Go help raise funds for people to get out of abusive situations. Do something, stop priding yourself for being able to have a boring discussion about semiotics. Actions do speak louder than words. I’d much rather be someone who has actually helped someone improve there real life situation and maybe offend someone sometime unintentionally, then spending time telling others not to use a word because they might offend someone. All those people responding ‘oh how wonderfull, finally someone said it. I have been waiting for this for so long’. If you where waiting for so long for this to be said, why didn’t any of you bother to say it your selves? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and learn to fight for your own causes. Sometimes you can find people to stand by you, sometimes you don’t. Even if you don’t, still put up a fight. Find your own voice and then maybe it doesn’t bother you so much anymore when you think someone unjustly is trying to speak for you or ‘claim’ a word you think should belong to you. Really, most people are just speaking for themselves. Being a transsexual does not mean that every battle in your life has to be about issues within this supposed ‘community’. For me, being part of a ‘community’ that wants to fight poverty, discrimination, opression, colonialism, etc. will (when inclusive and united enough) do more to rid the world off misogynie than having these supposed important discussions on the internet about the word tranny. It’s the easy way to still feel like you are doing something but somehow enjoy picking the easy battles you can fight from behind your computer and at least want compliments about your ‘writing skills’ at the same time.
Right fucking on eli. The best post so far.
Agreed, James! Eli was spot on.
This post is hurtful to the few trans*men who have experienced how hurtful this word is. It should go by personal experience. I was called the T word and was sexually harassed, and had corrective rape threatened on me. I’m told that because I still wear dresses, or probably don’t want bottom surgery, that I don’t work out and ADORE makeup that I’m a T* F*. Even if the percentage is small, you can’t erase that this does happen, and has happened. I think everyone who keeps yelling at me that I never experience bad things because I identify as a femme mtm, needs to realize that people hate me also. And that word does get used against me, and I’m seen as an object that needs correcting and is good only for sex.
I definitely respect the opinions of the trans men here who have faced that word as a slur.
I do agree with the fact that this article IS calling out a trend that I have witnessed among young, liberal arts college educated trans guys and that community…people using that word and not having a connection to it as a slur. which is not okay. I think maybe Stephen did overgeneralize a little bit in his efforts to convince fellow privileged young trans guys of why this isn’t a good thing to be doing. But that doesn’t mean everything he says is invalid.
Thanks for writing such a great post. Cis “allies” also have to stop using this word.
It has been my experience that many trans men use this word out of ignorance and/or apathy and once educated about the history of the word, will still use it.
I’m kind of astounded by the number of comments demanding the right to reclaim the word. I mean, no one is telling you what you can or cannot do or say; no one can do that. I just can’t fathom why it would be so important to you to use a word you know hurts a lot of people, just because it doesn’t hurt some. Human empathy should probably come into play here. The arguments look to me like “I have been hurt, therefore I must empower myself regardless of who it hurts in turn.”
Alright kid,
I dont care who your daddy is….and i dont care how his position has put you on this site ( props to your aunt though, she’s damn awesome)
B
uddy, im going to say tranny when i want to, and im going to stand behind actors and actress’s who say it for fun. Get over it. This is my life here, and im going to do what i want
From what I know, the slur was used by cis people to degrade trans women. What I don’t understand is this: why are some trans men using a slur that was never meant for them? They talk about “reclaiming” the slur. Well, it’s not yours to reclaim! But I sympathize with the trans guys who have been called the slur, but I don’t think I can contribute there because I’m not a trans women nor have I been called by that slur personally and directly as a trans man. From my experience, the slur has always been used negatively on trans women. I think this discussion should be left to cis allies, trans women (whether or not they’ve been called by that slur and/or choose to identify or choose not identify with it), and the trans men who have been called by that slur. The rest should just listen to those groups and be their allies in these matters.
wait, when I say cis allies I meant to say those who have erred by using the slur but are committed to renouncing their errors (but then when do trans folk get to name them as “alles”? ..). Wait, wait, what if some cis people don’t know that the word is hurtful, derogatory, demeaning, and transphobic? What if they think it’s.. “cute”? Shit. And what do you do with the bigots? Do you include them in the discussion too? Is it beneficial for the bigots to know about how it is that is the transphobic slur? Well, people need to know the history, right? Do you think it’s oppressive if the oppressor doesn’t know that slurs used to oppress the oppressed is oppressive, thus continuing in the oppressor/oppressed dynamic(s)? Okay, I’m confusing myself, so I’m gonna stop now
*allies
My first Aidan was an undergraduate at Mills college sometime around the turn of the century. He was as angry and articulate as the entire generation of Theory-happy trans boys he heralded, and I was his paralytically indecisive teenage genderfucked fangirl. He tossed around the word “tranny” with carefree abandon, and even had this hilarious series of adbuster-style parodies called “spokestranny”. I adored him for it.
That was my first exposure to the word – not spoken at me in anger or branded across a porno DVD cover, but as a reclaimed word. It doesn’t even make sense to me as a slur. It has all the wrong phonetic structure to be spat out like a hard-consonant word-dagger. It sounds cute. Teasing, but friendly. “Tranny”. “Meanie”.
But it still bites people, and I guess our community has decided that the people who reclaimed it had no right to do so, so now it’s back to being taboo. But I still like the word. I giggle when my wife sing-songs “my little tranny, my little tranny” at me. I mock myself for getting lost in my “angsty tranny bullshit”. I don’t really think words are offensive by themselves – it’s the intent behind them that sharpens the edge.
But I don’t ever use it to talk about anyone but myself anymore. I hate the stifling language policing in our community, but pissing other people off is not on my agenda. And I really don’t want to give some gender theory major the chance to remind me that my ability to rise above being offended by little bits of language is yet another of my unchecked privileges.
I’ve read all the postings on this site and thanks to every contributor. It was an enjoyable and comfortable educational experience . A tranny is an integral and indispensable part of an automobile . (PERIOD). I have been extremely fortunate not to have suffered all the agony , pain , discrimination , emotional torment , physical abuse , etc. in my 72 years that the writers here sadly have . My heart goes out to all those who have suffered in any way . Even when used in reference to peoples sexual choices tranny is a soft , friendly word . I sure can’t see having a bird over it ! . Peace ~ Love ~ and a smooth running transmission to you all . ~
Very, very good article and thank you for writing it. There was once a website called “Tranny Alert” that was taking pictures of random women and suggesting they were “trannies” (thankfully the site was taken down), and once they did a post on Chaz Bono … guess what they called him? A “reverse-tranny”. That shows pretty clearly who the cis majority targets with that word.
Leaving the debate over who the word targets aside, though, there’s one thing I wish people would pay more attention to, and that’s how the use of the word in a reclaimed way affects people outside those doing the reclaiming.
When trans men and women who use the term amongst themselves also use it around cis people a lot, it spreads outward. Those cis people go on to think the word is blanket OK if they hear trans people using it, and that normalizes the harmful uses of the word, too. People like to say “Using the word positively takes away its negative power!” but that’s garbage; using the word positively just means that people feel more comfortable using it negatively as well, because they have an excuse.
So if you insist on using that term for yourself, whatever, but PLEASE explain to your cis friends that it’s like “fag” or “dyke” or any other slur… they can’t throw that shit around without being aware of what they’re saying and who they’re saying it to.
Interestingly at work they rarely use the word tranny (or it’s other even more horrible associate, ‘he-she’) against me, they invented a new word – they call me a ‘shim’.
I’ve made a point of explaining to my friends that it’s as bad a word as the n-word (for someone without that experience to use) and it’s been interesting seeing them correct other people since then – and correct them accurately without outing me. (I feel blessed to know such people.)
this is the second blog post i’ve stumbled on tonight that argues against transguys using the word “tranny”. well the first one already convinced me to stop using it
but i appreciate this further discussion of it. thank you!
Blah. I cal you what your born us. Very few I will call tgeir preffered pronoun as very are tru transexuals. Rather they have personality disorders, delusional etc.
Homosexuals I despise as they are deviants. And they go OUT of thier way to piint out trans wonen as men, they cl
Blah. I cal you what your born us. Very few I will call tgeir preffered pronoun as very are tru transexuals. Rather they have personality disorders, delusional etc.
Homosexuals I despise as they are deviants. And they go OUT of thier way to piint out trans wonen as men, they clown us, etc etc etc.
I reckon the next civil wars will either gays verses trannies and right verses left politically lol
I see a a homo I pretend he or she doesnt exist. And very few trannies I see as their prefered gender, sex. Womanhood, manhood is EARNED! You dont just take few pills don a wig and then your a woman. Just sayin..
Yo ignoramus who can’t spell or use spell-check…
Why do you purposely come to a website that is filled with people you call deviant to make your uneducated, hate-filled comment? Are you hiding in the closet dearie? Come on out and stand proudly (then go to school and learn to spell).
I’m a trans woman. I think you *need* to use the word. Screw what the trans women authorities say. The more the word is used, the more visibly it will come to apply to trans men. WE NEED UNIFYING TERMINOLOGY and FAST. There are far too many disputes about words and how they are used. Instead of building consensus and understanding which are actually important to our daily survival, we are busy building schisms revolving around terminology. The sooner we have a central terminology set that is intelligible to consensus humanity, the sooner we will be understood, the less we will be hated.
People are WAY to sensitive about terms, especially within the confines of an already marginalized community. Let’s get over it and get to WORK.
AND BY THE WAY… our reconstruction of gender roles is also an issue here. I am not a Man OR a woman. I honestly think that the tip toeing on ice in our community is getting ridiculous. The word transsexual was coined by a Twoman who was against both homosexuality AND gender reassignment surgery. But who the fuck cares where it came FROM, where will it GO? and also *sorry* but I dont listen to the so-called Trans authorities about ANYTHING. how do you think OP got so popular… by NOT assimilating? Um, think again, friends, this very publication is normalizing us to popular media. BORING.
I had no idea that tranny was a bad word, and I have used it with my other ftm freinds. Then again I never saw RENT, or Rocky Horror Picture Show until my freind made me so my experiences in the LGBT culture and community are really small. It never would have occurred to me it was a word we could not use. I guess it is like Two Spirit. I was told that only Native Americans can use that word to describe people of their cultural/ ethnic background.
Um.
I was called that during my childhood and adolescence by people who physically, psychologically, and sexually abused me. I don’t use it for the obvious reasons outlined above, but that rare experience you mentioned is someone’s and it’s a nasty one. Being on the receiving end is part of my history and I’m not quite sure how to erase that. I suppose I think about it along the same lines as a white person who resembles a PoC being called “nigger” every day in conjunction with violence. It is not part of their family and cultural history as it is mine, but it is still a part of their history. This doesn’t mean that it won’t make every black person in a 100-mile radius feel uncomfortable, angry, and unsafe if they use it, but it does mean that we share a piece of the same experience.
I don’t think I’m being one of the “good ones” by saying this. I think I’m being realistic.
Thank you. You are awesome.
I Love OP mag. I am all for self identifying. I like and use the term Tranny for my self. (Hello allow poeple to self identify) The word that makes me cringe is Cis- anything. I believe that this Cis stuff was made up by the college feminist theory crowd, which I was not privy. I prefer to say non-trans as it indicates trans being the norm.
What a great article, Stephen. It really opened up my eyes and mind. I have mixed feelings about the word, but avoid using it. I sed to call myself a tranny and had a shirt made with it and everything.. but I have never been called a tranny as a slur, making it feel wrong to use it for myself now. There’s such a great attachment to this word with transmen. I wonder what it is.
Thank you so much for this. I am also a trans-masculine identified person that has used tr*anny but now sees how harmful it is.
Okay, I’m missing the entire point. Because all I hear is “ignore trans* men, trans* men are given too much credit, IGNORE AND ALIENATE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE MISUSING THIS SLUR”?
We’re ALL FUCKING TRANS*, why do we need to separate what fucking slur into gender specific groups? Yeah sure, tr*nny is “historically” code for a “a man failing to be a woman,” but trans* males are also called tr*nnies, becuase they’re fucking trans*. Because tr*nny is a derogatory, general slur used to define the whole fucking spectrum of transgender people.
For example: “So and so is trans*.” “Oh, they’re a tr*nny??”
Basically, all I see here is that FTMs are essentially NOT allowed to reclaim ANY slurs, which is fucking bullshit.
It should be noted that NONE of this is against trans*women, it’s arguing for inclusion.
So why are you policing what slurs we’re allowed to reclaim by making them specific to only one group, when it’s addressed to the whole? To me, that’s working backwards.
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My experiences as a trans person should not and can not be compared to other people. I am going to reclaim the word Tranny despite what this article says. I think we are coming from different places here. But sorry, friend, I deny your request I will reclaim the word Tranny until its something we can be proud about. I myself have been victimized while the word was said, which is exactly why its my right as a transperson (neither ftm or mtf) to reclaim it. I wish OP would start writing less about #whitegirlproblems
Thank you so much for this.
Thank you for this fantastic article!
Hey this is a great post! I totally agree, as a trans-feminine person i’m not comfortable with men using that term.
Also just wanted to point out, because i can tell your a self-aware person, and you might be receptive,
“Please try to remember that working to include poor trans women of color in our movement is like, one of the most important things we need to do right now. Which is more important, working to make trans women feel comfortable and safe in our community, or using a word that makes us feel all tingly and transgressive?”
This has some excluding language in it. i don’t know that trans women need “you” to make us feel more included in “your” community. Know what i’m saying? When I read that i was a little taken aback, like wait, “our” movement? I know you mean that well, but it comes off like you’re already the center of the community and need to make it a welcome space for us outsiders. We all need to be assumed to be already the center. Don’t know if that’s clear, feel free to respond if not.
Just sayin. Still love you though!!
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